477 Triangle

First  viewed :  5  January  1981

Well  this  is  another  torpedo  to  the  security  of  my  memory  banks. I  could  have  sworn  this  started  in  the  spring  of  1980  but  no , it  didn't  replace  Angels  in  the  post-Nationwide  spot  until  the  beginning  of  1981.

Triangle   of  course  is  a  famous  TV  disaster  that   always  features  in  those  terrible  TV  documentaries. I  watched  the  first  episode  which  was  more  than  enough  to  convince  me that  it  was  going  to  be  absolute  shite  but  my  mum  and  sister  stayed  with  it  , the  latter  I  seem  to  remember, because  she  fancied  Larry  Lamb  ( playing  First  Mate  Matt  Taylor ).

The  programme  was  the  creation  of  producer  Bill  Sellars  who'd  cut  his  teeth  on  Dr  Who   before  moving  on  to  ratings  winners  like  The  Brothers  and  All  Creatures  Great  and  Small . That  gave  him  the  muscle  to  pitch  the  idea  of  a  bi-weekly  soap  set  aboard  a  genuine  North  Sea  ferry  plying  its  trade  between   glamorous   Felixstowe  and  Gothenberg. There  were  ferries  between  the  latter  port  and  Amsterdam  but  the  third  leg  between  there  and  Felixstowe  was  a  fiction.

The  opening  scene  was  completely  ludicrous  and  set  the  tone  for  everything  that  followed. Kate  O' Mara, playing  the  same  hard  nosed  maneater  she  did  in  The  Brothers , had  been  appointed  the  ship's  new  purser   but  before  being  introduced  to  any  of  her  new  colleagues , including the  old  guy  she  was  replacing , she  decided  to  sunbathe  topless  on  the  captain's  deck  as  you  do  on  your  first  day  in  a  new  job. As  if  that  wasn't  bad  enough  she  was  tanning  under a  grey  sky  on  a  choppy  sea  , barely  able  to  keep  her  teeth  from  chattering  when  Lamb  came  out  to  remonstrate  with  her. Credit  is  due  to  the  make  up  artist  for  hiding  her  goose  pimples.

The  other  crew  were  played  by  Michael  Craig  as  the  Captain  who  looked  petrified  in  every  scene  and  Paul  Jerricho  as the  series  J.R,-like  villain  of  the  piece. There  were  other  regular  members  of  the  cast  but  I  can't  remember  what  their roles  were. O'Mara  had  the  sense  to  jump  ship,  if  you'll  excuse  the  pun, at  the  end  of  the  series  but  the  others  battled  through  to  the  end.

That  was  the  series'  only  redeeming  feature , that  cast  and  crew  were  suffering  as  much  as  the  viewer. Whatever  Sellars  imagined  the  North  Sea  crossing  was  like, the  reality  was  cold,  windswept, colourless  and  bumpy . The  VT  technology  of  the  time  struggled  to  cope  with   both  the  difficult  lighting  conditions   and  the  ship's  motion,  giving  the  series  a  very  dowdy  look  that  made  Crossroads  seem  like  Dallas  by  comparison. Sea-sickness  was  a  recurrent  problem.  Given  such  conditions,  none  of  the  writers  felt  much  inspiration  to  come  up  with  decent  scripts  for  actors  more  preoccupied  with  retaining  their  lunch. For  the  critics  it  was  a  gift  that  just  kept  on  giving; Terry  Wogan  ( who , it  turned  out,  was  to  directly  benefit  from  its  demise )  on  Radio  Two  had  a  field  day  with  its  shortcomings.

For  all  that , Triangle  must  have  had  a  reasonable  audience  to  have  lasted  for  three  seasons.  It  finally  came  into  port  in  1983  when  the  suits  decided  that  chat  shows  were  a  better bet  for  its  early  evening  slot.