533 Riverside

First  viewed  :  January  1982

This  early  evening  BBC2  arts  programme   filmed  from  the  same  Riverside  studios  as  the  Old  Grey  Whistle   Test  ( hence  the  name  )  could  be  filed  under  the  "yoof  TV"   banner  as  most  participants  were  under  30   but  it  didn't  have  any  vox  pop  sections  to  interrupt  its  arts  coverage.

It  began  just  after  Christmas  and  was  originally  scheduled  against  Coronation  Street  so  I doubt  I  saw  the  first  episode  but  soon  became  a  regular  when  it  moved  to  18.55 pm. Although  some  of  the  content  of  this  magazine   show  was  pretentious  or  tedious,  you  could  usually rely  on  at  least  one  item  sending  your  jaw  to  the  floor  and  having  my  Mum  in  the  room waiting  for  Corrie   made  it  twice  as  fun. The  content  was  often  quite  risque  for  so  early  in the  evening  with  some  of  the  dancers  wearing  not  much  clothing  and  doing  provocative routines. There  was  also  a  feature  on  Bow  Wow  Wow  which  had  footage  from  the  photo-shoot  for  their  controversial  album  cover and  came  within  a  centimetre  of  showing  you Annabella  Lwin's  15-year  old  left  nipple.

The   general  rule  for  the  bands  featured  in  the  studio  seemed  to  be  that  they  hadn't  yet  made  the  Top  40  although  it  definitely  helped  if  you  were  a  Goth  act  with  Bauhaus, Sex  Gang  Children, The  Specimen, Birthday  Party  ,Danielle  Dax, Danse  Society and  Test  Department  all  featuring  over  the  show's  three  seasons.  Established  acts  were  featured  if  they  had  something  to  say  or  were  attempting  something  a  bit  different  ( which  gave  rise  to  some  of  the  show's  most  memorable  moments ).

The  highlights  for  me  were  :

• A  young  Benjamin  Zephaniah  performing  a  poem  which  climaxed  with  the  killer  couplet  "To  others  she  is  Valerie / But  to  me  she  is  my  mummy". I'm  presuming  there  was  some  improvement  before  he  started  being  lauded.
• David  Sylvian  doing  a  spellbinding  acoustic version  of  Ghosts .
• A  feature  on  punk's  next  generation  featuring  the  obnoxious  Gary  Bushell  and  the  band  Blitz, one  of  whose  members  drove  a  stake  through  the  heart  of  Joe  Strummer  with  the  comment  "Anyone  who  says  they  don't  want  to  be  rich  is  either  a  liar  or  a  bleeding  idiot".
• Eddie  Tudorpole  giving   a  straight-faced  guided  tour  of  his  lodgings  which  looked  like  Fagin  had  been  the  last  tenant.
• Malcolm  McLaren's  fashion  tip  to  girls - Start  wearing  your  bra  on  the  outside. Strangely  enough  it  didn't  catch  on.
• Ken  Livingstone  admitting  he  cried  at  E.T.
• A  feature  on  the  Hacienda  in  Manchester  which  first  revealed  Tony Wilson's  involvement  in  the  music  scene  to  me.
• Presenter  Victoria  Studd  going  on  a  very  straight  date  with  Bobby  Guppy  of  Bucks  Fizz. Quite  what  the  brief  was  for  that  item is  hard  to  imagine. 
• And  finally... the  dodgy  dancers. The  one  I  recall  from  the  time  is  Peter  Murphy  from  Bauhaus  in  a  ridiculous  pair  of  trousers , throwing  a  few  shapes  in  a  sand  pit  to  a  Bauhuas  track  with  a  rather  more  accomplished  young  woman ( who  I  believe  became  his  wife ). I  didn't  originally  see  the  more  notorious  appearance  of  Sham  69's  Jimmy  Pursey  doing  a  beyond-embarrassing  routine  to  The  Stranglers' The  Men  In  Black   but  it's  now  a  YouTube  must-see  ( though  perhaps  not  if  you  love  the  song ).

I  didn't  see  much  of  the  third  and  final  season  in  autumn  1983  when  I  was  in  my  first  term at  university. Too  much  else  going  on I  suppose. Of  the  presenters,  Steve  Blacknell   became  a well  known  TV  face  in  the  eighties  and  now  works  in  media  training   and  Studd  worked  in TV  on  and  off   until  her  1994  marriage  to  Helena  Bonham-Carter's  brother.  The  others  have vanished  without  trace.