618 The Mad Death

First  viewed  :  July  1983

Besides  the  water  shortage, the  long  hot  summer  of  1976  was  also  marked  by  a  rabies  scare. I  can't  recall  what  sparked  it  off   but  there  were  posters  in  the  local  health  centre  warning  of  the  dangers  of  flaunting  quarantine  laws. It  seemed  like  Death was  just  waiting  to  pop  over  from  Calais  and  get  us. Radio  playwright  James  Follett  ( not  to  be  confused  with  Labour  luvvie  Ken )  capitalised  on  this  with  a  scary  drama  The  Rabid  Summer  on  Radio  Four  which  made  such  an  impression  on  me  that  I  taped  the  repeat  and  played  it  to  my  friends.

I  don't  know  if  Nigel  Slater  who  wrote  The  Mad  Death  some  six  years  later  heard  the  play  but  there  are  strong  similarities. In  both,  the  hero  is  a  vet  who  has  to  impose  unpopular  control  measures  in  the  teeth  of  opposition  from  countryside  interests  and  mad  old  pet-loving  ladies. In  this  case,  the  vet was  a  younger  man  Hillard  , played  by  Richard  Heffer  with  an  arrogance  that  made  him  very  difficult  to  like. The  green  wellies  brigade  were  represented  by  Dalry  ( Richard  Morant )  who  was  also  the  suspicious  boyfriend  of  Hillard's  assistant  Anne  ( Barbara  Kellerman ).  Brenda  Bruce  played  the  psychotic  cat  owner.

I  think  I  missed  the  first  episode   of  this  three-parter   but  I   recall  a  scene , which  must  have  given  Richard  Whiteley  nightmares  ,where  Hillard  is  ambushed  in  a  pub  by  a  group  of  yokels  and  has  a  ferret  pushed  to  within  a  centimetre  of  his  face. I  also  remember  Dalry  giving  Hillard  a long-overdue  punch  at  some  point  in  the  final  part.

617 Murder in the First Degree

First  viewed :  9  July  1983

This  three  part  documentary  was  originally  part  of  a  longer  documentary  series  called   Circuit  Eleven  Miami ,  taking  advantage  of  a  decision  by  the  State  of  Florida  to  allow  its  judicial  proceedings  to  be  filmed  for  a  year. It  was  first  shown  at  an  ungodly  hour  on  BBC2  in  1979 ; these  repeats  went  out  just  after  nine. Interestingly, it  was  screened  just  as  the  Commons  were  seriously  debating  the  restoration  of  the  death  penalty  for  the  last  time.

The  drama  centred  on  the  trial  of  a  man  called  Thomas  Perri  who  was  accused  of  the  murder  by  knife  of  an  old  man  in  revolting  circumstances. The  State's  only  witness  was  his  apparent  accomplice  Stephen  Weiss  who  had  been  promised  a  maximum  sentence  of  fifteen  years  if  he  helped  nail  Perri  and  send  him  to  the  chair.

What  struck  me  most  was  just  what  U.S.  lawyers  were  able  to  get  away  with  in  court. The  defence's  entire  strategy  seemed  to  be  to  unnerve  Weiss  by  constantly  accusing  him  of  being  a  sexual  pervert. I  seem  to  recall  one  of  the  questions  was

"Did  you  say  to  Diane  [Perri's  wife ]  "Diane  you've  got  such  a  skinny  body , how  can  you  take  that  python  that  Tommy's  got  ?"

The  prosecutors  would  then  object, the  judge  would  shout  "Sustained ! "  and  then  the  defence  lawyer  would  ask  another  question  that  was  equally  as  abusive  and  irrelevant.

And  this  went  on  and  on. Neither  Perri  nor  Weiss, who  were  both  clearly  relishing  the  presence  of  the  cameras,  seemed  fazed  by  the  proceedings.

This  was  in  the  first  episode  and  I  felt  grubby  just  watching  it. I  couldn't  face  any  more  of  it. Googling  reveals  that  Perri  was  found  guilty  but  not  whether  he  was  subsequently  executed .

616 Open Space : Power in Your Hands

First  viewed : 5  July  1983

This  was  a  bit  of  an  oddity. BBC2  wanted  to  drum  up  some  response  for  their  new  Community  Programming  Unit  vehicle  Open  Space   ( although  a  number  of  episodes  were  already  in  the  can )  so  they  sent   Julie  Walters, hot  on  the  back  of  her  appearance  in   Boys  from  the Blackstuff , to  England's  most  battered  community  i.e  Liverpool  to  tub-thump  for  it.

Open  Space  was  really  just  a  re-launch  of  the  1970s  programme  Open  Door  which  had  fallen  into  odium   after  an  infamous  episode  where  they  let  some  anarchist  group  plonk   a  potted  tree  in  front   of  the  camera  and  recite  slogans  offscreen  for  half  an  hour.

Resplendent  in  a  garish  shell  suit, Julie  wandered  around  estates  and  playgrounds  arguing  that  communities  should't  wait  for  writers  to  come  up  with  once-in-a-lifetime  dramas  like  ..Blackstuff   to  highlight  important  concerns  but  use  the  opportunity  provided  by  the  CPU  to  make  their  own  documntaries. How  a  half-hour  programme  buried  on  BBC2  in  a  midweek  evening  slot  would  bring  about  lasting  change  was  never  really  addressed.

Still, Julie's  evangelism  did  inspire  me  to  write  to  the  programme  suggesting  they  come  to  Littleborough  and  cover  the  Coach  House  Project.. This   was  instigated  at  a  public  meeting    convened  by  Littleborough  Civic  Trust  in  November  1979  as  a  response  to  the  lack  of  community  facilities  in  Littleborough  ( partly  down  to  the  parsimonious  policies of  the  old  Littleborough  UDC   and  then  the  tendency  of  Littleborough  to  elect  councillors  of  a  different  political  hue  to  the  majority  group  on  Rochdale  MBC  to  which  it's  been  tethered  since  1974 )  . Rae  Street  and  Don  Pickis  ( chair  and  vice-chair  respectively  of  LCT  )  had  identified  a seventeenth  century  building  in  the  town  centre  that  an  ironmonger  was  about  to  vacate  as  a  suitable  site  for  a  community  centre  and  invited  representatives  from  all  the  local  voluntary  groups  to  come  on  board  with  the  project. I  was  at  the  meeting  and  there  was  a  unanimous  vote  to  green  light  the  project  with  Nan  Dearden  the  formidable  chairwoman  of  the  Townswomen's  Guild   nominated  as  chair  of  the  steering  group  ( not.  I  suspect,  an  entirely  agreeable  surprise  for  Rae  and  Don ! )

In  addition  to  the  cost  of  taking  on  the  lease  for  the  building,  which  was  owned  by  the  brewery  for  the  pub  it  once  served ,  the  old  coach  house  required  considerable  work  to  make  it  fit  for  purpose  and  all  the  constituent  organisations  were  involved  in  fund  raising  activities  to  various degrees. My  mum's  playgroup  was  involved,   despite  her  reasonable  questioning  of  what  they  stood  to  gain  when  they  served  the  interests  of  parents  in  Dearnley  and  Smithy  Bridge,  a  good  mile  away  and  already  had  premises  there,  By  the  time  the  Walters  episode  was  broadcast,  the  Centre  was  still  not  open  for  business.    

Besides  being  involved  in  the   Civic  Trust's  fundraising  activities,  I  had  also  made  over  50  %  of  the  proceeds  from  two  raffles  held  by  the  Littleborough  Rambling  Club  ( much  criticised  by  some  of  the  other  members ) to  the  project . Still , there  was  no  invitation  for  me  to  join  the  steering  committee  and  quite  rightly so ; they  needed  some  specialist  expertise  or  someone  who  could  open  up  doors  to  further  funding, not  the  impractical  ideas of  a  teenager. The  approach  to  Open  Space , made  without  any  consultation  whatsoever, was  probably  another  attempt  at  self-advertisement.

The  reply  is   below :

I  heard  nothing  more. The  Coach  House  partially  opened  its  doors  that  October  and  continues  to  this  day  without  the  benefit  of  my  services.

The  earliest   subsequent  Open  Space  programme  I  definitely  recall  watching  was  broadcast  on  9  October  1986  titled  B &  B  the  Real  Scandal   which  highlighted  that  local  authorities  in  London  were  having  to  put  homeless  families  into  bed  and  breakfast  accommodation ,  usually  a  single  room  with  a  shared  bathroom , because  of  the  government's  restrictions  on  public  house  building.

Next  came  Strip  Searching  - Security  in  the  Raw  on  13  April  1987. This  was  a  programme  made  by  a  number  of  females  who  had  experienced  strip  searching  at  different  locations. It  didn't  actually  show  any  but  the  testaments  were  shocking  enough. I  recall  an  attractive  young  woman  who'd  gone  down  to  Greenham  Common,  got  arrested  and  then  been  strip-searched  including  vaginal  examination  in  front  of  a  gaggle  of  male  officers  who'd  gathered  to  watch. She'd  told  one  he  was  old  enough  to  be  her  Dad. Thankfully, the  laws  regarding  the  procedure  were  considerably  tightened  up  not  long  afterwards. 

615 Six Fifty five

First  viewed  : July  1983

This   early  evening  - I'll  leave  you  to  work  out  the  exact  time  - chat  show  from  the  Pebble  Mill  team  on  BBC  Two  ran  for  three  summer  seasons  from  1981  to  1983  but  the  first  two  (  when  it  went  out  as  Six  Fifty  Five  Special  )   passed  me by  entirely. It  was  on  five  nights  a  week .  For  the  second  season  some  star  power was  added   with  Sally  James  from  Tiswas  and  Anglophile  actor  David  Soul   becoming  the  presenting  duo.

For  the  1983  season  Soul  was  replaced  by  swarthy  young  Scot  Paul  Coia.  I  recall  episodes  which  featured  John  Hurt  and  the  bloke  he  was  playing  in  a  film, cancer-beating  jockey  Bob  Champion  and  one  which  featured  Mike  Read  and  Paul  Gambaccini  talking  about  30  years  of  the  charts. I  remember  Read  championing  The  Shadows  as  the  first  group  to  write  their  own  material against  Gambo's  plump  for  The  Beatles  given  that  the  Shadows' tunes  lacked  certain  vital  ingredients. There  was  also  a  show  given  over  to  TV  puppets  where  Sooty  attacked  Sally  with  a  water  pistol  ( not  that  that  was   likely  to  faze  her ) . It's  a  shame  he  went  for  her  face  given  she  was  wearing  a  white  summer  dress  at  the  time.

The  feature  I  remember  best  was  in  the  Friday  episode  where  Bob  Langley  would  go  for  a  walk  in  the  Lakes  with  a  celebrity. The  first  one  was  Chris  Bonington  and  I  remember  him  saying  that  he  fantasized  about  food  rather  than  sex  when  he  was  mountaineering. The  second  one  was  Martin  Shaw  who  talked  to  Bob  on  the  summit  of  Latrigg - at  the  time  I  had  no  idea  I  would  be  in  the  exact  same  spot  just  a  month  later -  who  took  the  opportunity  to  show  that  he  was  a  more  thoughtful  guy  than  his  screen  image  would  suggest. I  remember  taking  the  piss  out  of  him  for  talking  about  his  spiritual  guru  and  my  mum  rebuking  me   for  this  nascent  bigotry.

Sally  James  largely  withdrew  from  TV  after  this  to  raise  her  family  although  she  had  a  semi-regular  slot  on  Countdown  in  the  late  eighties. She  later  set  up  a  business  selling  school  uniforms. Since  2000  she  has  been  a  regular  celebrity  guest  on  numerous  programmes. Paul  Coia  has  been  lesss  visible  but  his  career  continues  as  a  game  show  host  on  satellite  channels  and  a  local  radio  DJ.

614 World of Wildlife

First  viewed  : 4  July  1973

This  was  an  early  evening   nature  documentary  series. I  remember  watching  the  first  episode  on  sharks  which  set  out  to  show  that  most  of  them  are  not  as  fearsome  as  their  reputation.

613 T.J. Hooker

First  viewed  : 1983

I  always  referred  to  this  as  "Toupee"  Hooker  in  reference  to  the  obvious  syrup  sported  by  William  Shatner  throughout  the  series. Contrary  to  popular  wisdom,  this  was  not  the  first  regular  TV  vehicle  for  Shatner  since  Star  Trek; he  had  a  starring  role  in  the  forgotten  Barbary  Coast  in  the  mid-seventies  but  his  re-emergence  here  as  a  paunchy  ex-detective  who  decides  to  go  back  on  the  uniformed  beat   was   almost  certainly   due  to  the  popularity  of  the  first  Star  Trek  movies.

Forget  Shatner  though, the  real  reason  for  tuning  in  was  Heather  Locklear, a  pocket-sized  Farrah  Fawcett  lookalike  who  joined  the  cast  in  the  second  series  as  a  rookie  officer. The  producers  wasted  few  opportunities  to  make  use  of  her  assets  with  storylines  regularly  calling  for  her  to  wear  a  bikini  or  go  undercover  as  an  exotic  dancer  or  other  such  devices. The  third  member  of  the  core  trio  was  Adrian  Zmed  as  Officer  Romano  who looked  up  to  Hooker  as  a  mentor.

T.J.  Hooker  was  something  of  a  throwback  to  seventies  shows  like  Starsky  and  Hutch  in  contrast  to  more  earnest  fare  such  as  Hill  Street  Blues  or  Cagney  and Lacey. As  such  it  was  always  watchable  without  ever  being  essential  viewing.  It  ran  until  1986.

612 A Midsummer Night's Tube

First  viewed  : 24  June  1983

Taking  their  cue  from  BBC  Two's  Rock  Night  the  year  before  Channel  4  gave  Jools, Paula  et  al  a  five  hour  show  to  play  with  ( Switch  was  on  earlier  in  the  evening  too ).  I only  dipped  into  it , partly  because  of  Wimbledon  highlights  on  BBC Two  and  partly  because  the  line-up  wasn't  that  great   including  King  Sunny  Ade, Culture  Club, Shalamar . Marillion  and  Robert  Plant, none  of  whom  held  much  interest  for  me. The  main  draw  on  the  schedule  was  Jools  Holland  interviewing  Duran  Duran  at  a  French  chateau. It  was  notable  for  the  ironic  questioning  by   Holland, clearly  no  great  fan  of  the  band, and  Simon  Le  Bon  in  particular  failing  to  pick  up  on  this  and  making  an  arse  of  himself. The  feature  did  the  band  no  favours  at  all  and  sharpened  critics'  knives  against  them  which  was  perhaps  Holland's  intention.

There  was  another  in  June  1984 but  I  don't  recall  seeing  any  of  that.