738 Aspel and Company

First  viewed  : Uncertain

This  Saturday  night  chat  show  on  ITV  started  in  1984  but  as  we  were  pretty  chained  to  the BBC   on  Saturday  nights,  it  was  a  while  before  I  first  saw  it. The  show  garnered  a  lot  of  attention,  seven  weeks  into  its  first  season, when  Margaret  Thatcher  appeared  on  the show  and  started  crying  when  talking  about  her  father  attracting  widespread  cynicism. After  that,  it  got  a  lot  of  good  press  for  Aspel's  quietly  forensic,  self-effacing  style  in  contrast  to  the  self-promoting  mugging  of  Wogan  and  Harty. Even  if  the  guests  weren't  that  interesting , it  was  absorbing  to  see  the  ultimate  professional  at  work.

One  episode  above  all   stands  out  and  no  prizes  for  guessing  which  one.  Oliver  Reed's  notorious  second  appearance  on  the  show  in  February  1987  occurred  at  the  end  of  my  first  week  at  work  and  thus  constitutes  my  first  " water cooler  moment".

Oliver  had  been  drinking  something  rather  stronger  than  water  when  he  came  on  to  promote  his  new  film  Castaway  and  after  putting  down  his jug  of  orange  juice  and  God  knows  what else.  the  dishevelled  actor  went  over  to  the  house  band  and  asked  them  to  give  him  some  backing  for  a  rendition  of  The  Wild  One. They  gamely  gave  it  a  go  whilst  trying  not  to  corpse and  Ollie  bawled  out  a  verse  while  "dancing"  in  a  manner  that  suggested  he  should  be  in  a  police  cell  rather  than  a TV  studio.

Having  satisfied  his  craving  to  be  a  rock  star  he  did  sit  down   and  manage  to  give  vaguely  coherent  answers  to  Aspel's  tart  questions like  "You've  just  finished  making  the  film  Castaway, do  you  remember  any  of  it  ?" He  spilled   some  of  his  "juice "  on  fellow  guest, the  tiresomely  wacky  comic  actress , Su  Pollard,  who  was  wearing  a  typically  exhibitionist  dress  so  he  deserves  some  credit  if  he  meant  it. Clive  James  asked  him  why  he  drank, getting  the reply  that  the  finest  people  Ollie  knew  were  those  he'd  met  in  pubs.

The  show  outlasted  its  rivals  but  came  to  grief  in  1993  when  Sylvester  Stallone, Arnold  Schwarzenegger  and  Bruce  Willis  appeared  on  the  show  to  promote  their  new  restaurant  venture  in  London, Planet  Hollywood. The  plugging  was  so  outrageously  obvious , with  Aspel   having  to  read  out  the  menu,  that  the  show  was  heavily  criticised  in  the  press. Aspel  took  it  on  the  chin  and  announced  he'd  be  quitting  chat  shows  at  the  end  of  the  season  which  had  5  more  episodes  to  run.

737 The Colbys

First  viewed :  28  January  1986

I  purposefully  left  out  mention  of  this  in  the  Dynasty  post  but  in  reality  the  two  series  were  inextricably  linked. The  Colbys  was  a  spin-off  from  Dynasty  plucking  out  the  dullest  character  Jeff  Colby  ( John  James )  and  transplanting  him  and  Fallon  Carrington  ( Emma  Sams )  to  California  where  his  relatives  operated. It  was  messily  set  up  in  the  parent  series  around  the  same  time  as  the  Moldavian  massacre. Fallon  wanders  into  town  as  an  amnesiac  and  gets  picked  up  by  playboy  Miles  Colby  ( marginal  Brat  Packer  Maxwell  Caulfield ). They  get  married  which  comes  as  an  unpleasant  surprise  for  Jeff  when  Miles  brings  his  new  bride  home. The  series  was  originally  titled  Dynasty  II :  The  Colbys  in  the  UK  and  ran  in  tandem  with  Dynasty  in  1986  with  The  Colbys  on  a  Wednesday  and  Dynasty  on  a  Friday. When  Dallas  returned in  March  though ,  it  claimed  the  Wednesday  night  spot  and  The  Colbys  and  Dynasty  alternated  on  a  Friday  which  was  very  aggravating,  especially,  I'm  guessing , to  those  who'd  previously  shunned  the  spin-off.

The  Colbys  had  some  big  names  up  its  sleeve  with  Charlton  Heston  and his  toupee  as  patriarch  Jason  Colby,  veteran  Barbara  Stanwyck  as  his  sister  Constance, Stephanie  Beacham  as  his  wife  Sable , Katherine  Ross  as  her  sister  Francesca  ( Jason's  true  love )  and  Ricardo  Montalban  as   vengeful  business  rival  Zack  Powers.

Alas, that  didn't  save  it  from  being  a  lukewarm  copy  of  its  parent  with  nothing  new  to  bring  to  the  table  apart  from  some  really  terrible  acting. The  worst  offender  was  Caulfield , a  posing  pretty  boy  who  thought  he  was  James  Dean  and  either  flicked  his  quiff  around  or  tried  an  Elvis  lip  curl.  in  lieu  of  acting.  Stanwyck  quit  after  the first  series  but  she was  bad  as  the  rest  and  it  was  painful  to  watch  her  hamming  whilst  clinging  on  to  the  furniture  for  dear  life.

The  Colbys  was  an  inevitable  failure. Joan  Collins  recognised  that  from  the  start  and  refused  to  make   any  guest  appearances. She  later  said  that  the  show  had  damaged  the  Dynasty  brand   and  was  probably  right  about  that  too. With  its  cancellation  confirmed  before  the  end  of  season  two  , the  writers  ensured  it  would  be  remembered  for  at  least  one  thing  by having  Fallon  abducted  by  aliens  in  the   final  scene, leaving  Dynasty  with  a   silly  plotline  to  untangle  when  she  and  Jeff  returned  to  the  main  show. Sable  and  dullard   daughter  Monica  ( Tracey  Scoggins  )  were  subsequently  written  into  Dynasty's  final  season  two  years  later.   

736 Catchphrase

First  viewed : 1986

We  move  on  into  1986, something  of  a  red  letter  year  for  me and  quite  a  busy  one  for  this  blog  as  we'll  see.

I  mentioned  a  few  posts  back  that  I'd  moved  into  shared  accommodation  for  my  final  year  at  university but  it  wasn't  long  before  I  came  to  regret  it. The  seeds  had  been  sown  before  we  even  moved  in. Right  at  the  start,  my  friend  Dave  L  had  asked  me  if  we  should  invite  anyone  else  and  me, always  wanting  to  construct  a  gang,  had  suggested  Pete  and  Dave  M , two  other students  who'd  been  left  behind  after  the  mass  exodus  from  the  hall  of  residence  at  the  end  of  Year  One. We  walked  miles  around  Headingley  in  April / May  1985  until  we found  somewhere  that   apparently  suited  everybody,  then  right  at  the  point  when  we  were giving  the  landlord  a  deposit , Dave  M  pulled  out  and  decided  to  stay  put  for  a  third  year. We  then  had  to  start  afresh,  looking  for  somewhere   as  a  trio. We  found  a  back  to  back  in  Woodhouse  and,  fearing  that  the  whole  project was  on  the  point of  collapse,  I  agreed  to  take  a  very  small  room  to  seal  the  deal.

That  was  one  problem. The  next, and  I'll  have  to  choose  my  words  carefully  here, was  Pete. Pete  was  in  the  neighbouring  room  to  me  that  second  year  in  hall   and  we  had  a  certain  amount  in  common . He  liked  walking  and  playing  snooker  and  I  enjoyed  his  propensity  for  practical  jokes  as  long  as  they  were  directed  at  other  people. That's  why  I  suggested  him  despite  having  full  knowledge  of  one  or  two  disturbing  incidents  - Pete  had  a  very  poor  relationship  with  many  of  the  incoming  students  -  which  should  have  given  me  pause  for  thought. Dave  M  later  said  that  the  main  reason  he'd  pulled  out  was  the  thought  of  spending  a  year  in  the  same  small  house  as  Pete.

By  his  own  admission, Pete  had  just  scraped  onto  a  chemistry  course  at  Leeds  after  disappointing  A  Level  results. He  struggled  on  it  and  at  the  end  of  that  second  year, calamitously,  he  failed   the  exams  and  had  to  take  a  year  out. His  tutors  said  they'd  turn  a  blind  eye  to  him  attending  lectures  but  he  had  to  fend  for  himself  as  far  as  maintenance  went. His  parents  gave  him  enough  to  survive  which  meant  he  could  stay in  Leeds  and  have  plenty  of  free  time  in  the  house  to  think  up  annoying  wheezes. I  came  very  close  to  hitting  him  on  one  occasion  which  would  certainly  not  have  ended  favourably  for  me. That  wasn't  the  full  extent  of  the  problems  though. One  evening  Dave  L and  I  came  back  to  a  house  full  of  smoke. Pete  had  made  the  cellar  his  own, to  work  on  his  bike  and  play  with  his  air  rifle,  but  it  had  got  cold  so  he  decided  it  would  be a   good  idea   to  make  a  fire  despite  the  fairly  crucial  absence  of  a  chimney. On  another  occasion,  I  came  back  from  a  weekend at home  and  the  guy  from  the  adjoining  property  was  on  the  doorstep,  threatening  to  give  me   and  Dave  L  a  good  hiding  over  the  excessive  noise  Pete  and   his  drinking  buddies  had  made  on  the  Saturday  night.

It  didn't  seem  safe  to  stay  with  Pete  and  then  there  was  an  external  threat.  The Yorkshire  Post  started  reporting  that  a  large  gang  of  feral  kids  were  targeting  students  for  attack. The  reports  indicated  that  the  kids  were  roaming  from  Woodhouse  into  the  more  obviously  student  territory  of  Headingley  but  it  was  still  too  close  for  comfort.

Those  were  the  push  factors. Then  there  was  a  pull  factor. Leeds  Student  reported  on  a  recent  court  case  - Street  v  Mountford - I  think  -  where  the  judges  declared  that  licence  agreements, exactly  the  type  of contract  we'd  made  with  the  landlord   were  a  sham  to  avoid  fair  rent  legislation  and  must  now be  regarded  as  tenancies. I  wasn't  that  interested  in  screwing  the  landlord  for  a  lower  rent ; what  I  wanted  to  know  was  did  the  judgement  mean  I  could  tear  up  the  licence, cancel  the  two  post-dated  cheques  he  still  had  to  cash  and  walk  away  from  my  mistake ?  Nobody  seemed  sure  but  that  prospect  was  the  final  nail  in  the  coffin  for  my  tenure  at  17  Thomas  St.  Over  the  Christmas  holidays  I  decided   that  I  would  not  be  returning  there  and,  indeed,  never  spent  a  night  there  again.

Having  made  that  decision , I   had  no  other  option  except  to  stay  at  home  and  commute  in  to  Leeds  when  necessary. My  mother  was  very  much  against  this  idea, taking  the  view  that  I  was  running  away  from  my  first  encounter  with  the  real  world. I  only  had  one  good  argument  to  deploy, that  my  dissertation, on  Edwardian  politics  in  North  East  Lancashire,  required  more  research  in  local  libraries,  which  it  did. With  that , and  a  contribution  to  maintenance  which  I  could  ill  afford  because  I  couldn't  find  the  assurance  I  needed  to  cancel  that  next  rent  cheque, she  grudgingly  yielded  for  the  time  being. This  also  meant  that,  once  again,  I  could  watch  midweek  TV.

That's  not  entirely  relevant  to  Catchphrase  although  it  was  on  Sunday  nights  at  a  time by  which  I would  normally  have  started  my  journey  back to Leeds. I  have  no  idea  when  I  first  caught  an  episode  but  some  time  during  its  first  year  of  transmission  seems  a  fair  bet.

Catchphrase  was  a  very  lowbrow  game  show  akin to  Punchlines  where  the  two  contestants  had  to  identify  a  well-known  phrase, proverb  etc.  from  a  partially-revealed, faintly  humorous  animation, often  featuring  the  show's  Dusty  Bin-esque  mascot  Mr  Chips.

The  show  found  its  ideal  host  in  slimy  Irish  comedian  Roy  Walker, another  New  Faces  winner. His  queasy  repartee  and  shark-eyed  insincerity  were a  perfect  fit  for  the  cheap  concept  and  that gave  the  show  a  certain  sleazy  charm  and  durability.

It was  the  sort  of  show  I'd  never  stay  in  to  watch  and  I  missed  the  most  infamous  episode  in  1994  with  the  "Snake  Charmer"  animation  where  Mr  Chips  appeared  to  be  bashing  the   bishop. It  had  me  on  the  floor  when  it  first  featured  on  a  Bloopers  show.

Walker  was  a  smart  cookie  and  knew  when  it  was  time  to  quit  in  1999. Nick  Weir  foolishly  tried to  replace  him. He  fell down  the stage  on  his  first  show and  things  didn't  get  much  better  as  ratings  plummeted. Weir  was  sacked  in  2002  and  Mark  Curry  took  over  for  a  final  series  in  2004  now  relegated  to  a  daytime  show.

The  show was  revived  with  Stephen  Mulhearn  and  is  currently  on  its  fifth  season.

735 Silas Marner

First  viewed :  30   December  1985

This  was  a  single  drama  adaptation  of  George  Eliot's  Victorian  classic   with  an  all-star  cast. Ben  Kingsley  was  in  the  title  role  as  the  miserly  weaver  who  is  robbed  of  both  his  wealth  and  reputation    but  finds  redemption  by   taking  in  a  lost  orphan  girl. Jenny  Agutter  popped  over  from  Hollywood to  play  the  wife  of  the local  squire Godfrey  Cass  ( Patrick  Ryecart )  whose  secrets  Silas  has  been  keeping. The  girl  Eppie  was  played  by  Patsy  Kensit, then  tring  to  make  it  as  a  pop  star  in  the  dire  Eighth  Wonder.

I  came  upon  it  when  it  had  about  twenty  minutes  to  run  and  was  intrigued  enough  to  wish  I'd  seen  the  rest.  

734 Blind Date

First  viewed : Autumn  1985

I  first  watched  this  hoping  to  learn  something, having  never  actually  been  on  a  date  at  this point.

I  was  soon  disabused  of  that  notion  but  it  was  entertaining  for  a  while.  Along  with  Surprise  Surprise  ( which  I  never  watched ), it  marked  a  major  comeback  for  presenter  Cilla  Black    who'd  spent  nearly  a  decade  toiling  away  in  cabaret  after  the  demise  of  her  BBC  variety  show  in  1976.

Blind  Date  had  a  simple  format. The  audience  were   introduced  to  three   guys  or  girls  then they  were  hidden  and  a  girl  or  guy  as  the  case  may  be  chose  one  of  them  from  the  answers  they  gave  to  three  questions  put  to  them. They  were  then  revealed  and  the  happy  or  not  couple  were  told  where they were  being  sent  for  their  date. The  following  week  some  date  footage  was  shown  followed  by  a  separate  review  of  the  date  from  each  party  then  a  joint  interview  where  Cilla  subtly  probed - this  was  a  family  show -  whether  or  not  they'd  had  sex . There  were  two  rounds  per  show. Occasionally  the  contestants  were  much  older  people  but  generally  the  show  stuck  with  the  under-forties.

It  quickly  became  apparent  that  neither  the  questions  nor  the  answers  were  spontaneous  so  the  chooser  was  making  their  judgement  on  the  delivery  of  pre-written  material. This  didn't  prevent  the  show  being  an  absolute  ratings  banker  for  a  decade  and  a  half.

 I  don't  know  when  I  got  fed  up  of  it, probably  some  time  in  the  late  eighties  but  I  do  recall  seeing  one  of  the  final  series  in  2002-03  which  introduced  the  "Date  or  Ditch"  option  where  the  chooser  had  the  option  of  rejecting  their  choice  and  calling  back  one  of  those  rejected  unseen  for  her  date. Cilla  didn't  like  this  - quite  rightly  -  and  decided  to  quit  the  show. Replacements  were  mooted  but  it  was  instead  decided  to  put  the  show  to  bed.

Channel  5  revived  the  series  earlier  this  year  with  Paul  O'Grady  replacing  his  fellow  Scouser  as  host.

733 The Copy Cats

First  viewed  :  Autumn  1985


The  Copy  Cats   was  a  direct  successor  to  the  seventies  show  Who  Do  You  Do ?  , a  fast-moving  sketch  show  featuring  a  team  of  impressionists  and  two  of  the  eight-strong  team,  Johnny  More  and  Aiden  J  Harvey,  had  been  involved  in  the  earlier  show. 


They  had  to  play  second  string  to  the  main  stars  Bobby  Davro  and  Gary  Wilmot. Davro's  come  in  for  a  lot  of  stick  over  the  years  but  I  think at  his  peak  he  was  a  talented  performer. Wilmot  on  the  other  hand  was  utter  garbage  and   it  could  be  difficult  to  identify  who  he  was  supposed  to  be  even  with  the  props.


I was  particularly  interested  in  Harvey  because  he  was  living  in  Littleborough  when  he  won  New  Faces  in  1975  and  I  hadn't  seen  much  of  him  since. He  was  the  most  talented  mimic  on  the  show  but  not  as  telegenic  as  the  younger  pair.


The  only  female  on  the  original  team  was  Jessica  Martin  who  was  also  working  on  Spitting  Image  at  the  time. She  was  very  good at  the  voices  but  her  bird-like  features  were  a  bit  too  distinctive  for  an  impressionist. You  also  couldn't  help  noticing , when  she  was  impersonating  the  likes  of  Kate  Bush,  that  she  wasn't  able  to  match  her  marks   in  the  chest  department.


I  enjoyed  it  at  the  time  but  having  glanced  at  a  couple  of  videos  on  YouTube  it  hasn't  aged  well. The  third  and  final  season  in  1987   was  gravely  weakened  by  the  departures  of  Davro  , Martin  and  ( I  suppose )  Wilmot  and  it  was  no  surprise  that  it  was  scrapped.

732 Edge of Darkness

First  viewed : 19  December  1985



I  couldn't  watch  the  original  run  of  this  political  thriller  on  BBC 2  due  to  the  domestic  situation  previously  described  but  I  was  aware  of  the  buzz  around  it  and  so  I  was  grateful  for  Michael  Grade's  decision  to  give  it  an  immediate  repeat  over  three  nights  at  the  start  of  the  Christmas  holidays.



Edge  of  Darkness  starts  with  the  brutal  murder  of  Emma  Craven  ( Joanne  Whalley )  an  environmental  activist  who  is  blown  off  her  feet  by  a  shotgun  blast  while  returning  home  with  her  father  Ronald. Ronald  is  a  taciturn  widowed  police  detective  and  his  colleagues believe  he  was  the  intended  target  after  his  stint  in  Northern  Ireland. Craven  however  does  his  own  investigating  leading  him  to  two  suave  civil  servants, Pendleton  and  Harcourt  ( Charles  Kay  and  Ian  McNeice ) who  tell  him  they  think  Emma  was  the  actual  target  after  she  led  a  raid  by  her  Gaia  group  on  a  nuclear  waste  facility  to  determine  whether  they  were  illegally  storing  plutonium. Harcourt  is  quite  upfront  about  using  Craven's  desire  for  truth  to  investigate  the  plant  for  themselves. The  CIA  are  also  interested  and  Craven  is  paired  up  with  larger  than  life  agent  Darius  Jedburgh  ( Joe  Don  Baker  )  to  raid  the  plant.



I  enjoyed  the  series  but  was  troubled  by  one  scene  which  I  couldn't  get  my  head  around. During  his  own  raid,  Craven  comes  across  the  drowned  bodies  of  the  Gaia  team  which  include  Emma  herself. Craven  exclaims  "They  all  drowned". I  could  accept  the  shooting  as  an  hallucination  but  Craven only  knows  every  other  character  as  a  direct  consequence  of  that  incident  so  is  the  whole  thing a  dream ? For  some  time  afterwards, I  went  trawling  bookshops  looking  for   a  novelisation  of  Troy  Kennedy  Martin's  script  to  answer  this  conundrum  but  to  no  avail.



The  series  was  lauded  across  the  board  and  many  years  later  became  a  feature  film  ( with   the  same  director ) starring  Mel  Gibson  which  I  haven't  seen. Both  Peck  and  McNeice  found  subsequent  work  in  Hollywood. Strangely, Kennedy  Martin  seemed  to  rest  on  his  laurels  after  the  series  and  produced  surprisingly  little  of  note in  subsequent years. He  died  in  2009.