460 Holding The Fort

First  viewed : 5  September  1980

After  his  huge  success  in  the  semi-comic  role  of  Tristan  Farnon  in  All  Creatures  Great  And  Small  the  search  was  on  for  a  suitable  comedy  vehicle  for  the  likeable  Peter  Davison .

The  first  one  he  landed  in  was  Holding  the  Fort  on  ITV . It's  also  notable  as  the  first  collaboration  of  the  durable  comic  writing  team  of  Laurence  Marks  and  Maurice  Gran.

The  premise  was  that  Russell  Milburn  ( Davison )  didn't  earn  enough  as  a  brewery  manager   in  London  to  support  his  wife  Penny  ( Patricia  Hodge )  and  their  baby  daughter in  the  appropriate  style. When   the  firm  re-locate  to  Workington  it's  decided  that  he  should  stay  at  home  with  the  baby  and  run  a  home-brew  business  while  Penny  returns  to  the  Army  ( in  which  she  is  a  captain ). The  series  might  have  had  something  to  say  about  the  upending  of  traditional  gender  roles  in  the  new  decade  but  it  was  never  very  amusing.

What  made  the  series  unpalatable  for  me  was  the  third  member  of  the  cast.  It  launched  an  abiding  pet  hate  of  mine. I  simply  cannot  bear  Matthew  Kelly  , making  his  TV  debut  here  as  Russell's  scrounging , over-opinionated  lorry  driving  friend  Fitz. He  was  offensively  hairy  but  it's  that  voice  - loud , singsong  and  ever-so-camp - that  just  goes  through  me. It  didn't  help  that  he  was  playing  an  obnoxious  hectoring  character  ( it's  worth  noting  that  he  was  a  member  of  Vanessa  Redgrave's  Worker's  Revolutionary  Party  at  the  time  which  may  have  helped  win  him  the  role ).  

In  the  only  episode  I  remember  clearly  the  couple  get  the  opportunity  to  re-locate  to  the  Lake  District   after  a  holiday  there  but  ridiculously  allow  Fitz  to  dissuade  them  by  pointing  out  the  location  of  Windscale   ( former  name  of  Sellafield )  on  the  map. Coupled  with  the  disparaging  references  to  Workington  in  the  first  episode,   I  can't  imagine  this  series  had  too  many  fans  in  the  Border  TV  region.

It  ran  for  three  seasons  until  1982  when  Davison  became  Dr  Who.

459 Cowboys

First  viewed  :  September  1980

I  may  only  have  seen  one  episode  of  this  shortlived  sitcom  about  an  incompetent  building  team.

Roy  Kinnear  played  Mr  Jones  the  nervy  owner  who  "maintained"  a  skeleton  crew  of  cynical  plumber  Richard  Geyser  ( Colin  Welland )  , drunken  Irish  painter  Wobbly  Ron  ( David  Kelly )  and  thick  as  two  short  planks  driver  Eric  ( James  Wardroper )  who  could  all  be  relied  upon  to  leave  a  property  in  a  worse  state  than  when  they  started. In  the  first  series  Jones's  secretary  was  played  by  ubiquitous  busty  blonde  Debbie  Linden; in  the  second,  they  went  to  the  opposite  extreme  and  her  replacement   was  played  by  Janine  Duvitski.

Besides  playing  on  middle  class  nightmares  of  botch  jobs  the  series'  premise  gave  plenty  of  opportunities  for  Some  Mothers  Do  Ave  Em  - style  slapstick  which  weren't  missed. A  house  fell  down  rather  impressively  in  the  first  episode. Colin  Welland  got  most  of  the  best  lines.

The  episode  I  remember  is  the  second  one  "Perks"  where  the  lads  are  helping  themselves  to  things  from  a  hotel  they're  renovating  such  as  the  copper  wiring. Ron  gets  startled  while  on  the  roof  and  ends  up  hanging  from  the  guttering. Eric  tells  him  to  lift  himself  up  then  chides  him  for  not  moving. Ron's  reply  is  "Neither  would  you  with  half  a  ton  of  lead  in  your  pockets !"

There  were  two  seasons  comprising  thirteen  episodes  in  total. Kinnear, Welland  and  Kelly  all  moved  on  but  the  series  was  the  end  of  the  line  for  Wardroper  as  an  actor. Ironically  he  became  a  painter  and  moved  to  France. He  does  have  the  consolation  that  he  and  Duvitski  are  the  only  surviving  members  of  the  cast.
    

458 Arthur C Clarke's Mysterious World

First  viewed :  2  September  1980

This  was  a  fun  series. Science  fiction  writer  Arthur  C  Clarke  "now  in  retreat  in  Sri  Lanka"  fronted  a  series,  in  Roald  Dahl  style,  of  half  hour  programmes  exploring  various  unexplained  phenomena  from  around  the  world. The  memorable  title  sequence  featured  a  striking  crystal  skull , supposedly  of  MesoAmerican  origin  though  this  has  been  seriously  questioned .

After  an  introductory  programme  as  a  taster  for  the  series  , the  episodes  were  thematically  organised  with   Clarke  covering  UFO's , apemen, stone  circles  and  so  on. A  final  programme  , the  thirteenth  episode  wrapped  things  up  and  included  items  that  couldn't  be  so  neatly  categorised. The  items  I  remember  were :

• A  whole  episode  devoted  to  the  Tunguska  explosion of  which  I'd  never  previously  heard
• The  supposed  sighting  of  long-necked  dinosaurs  in  the  Congo
• An  ancient  artefact  from  Baghdad  that  worked  as  a  battery
• A  supposed  mermaid  in  Brighton  Museum

Given  the  length  of  the  episodes,  the  treatment  of  each  subject  was  superficial  in  historical  or  scientific  terms  but  it  did  its  job  in  provoking  thought  on  some  of  the  more  interesting  mysteries  of  the  planet  and  beyond. There  were  two  subsequent  series  with  Clarke, Arthur  C  C Clarke's  World  of   Strange  Powers  in  1985  and  Arthur  C  Clarke's  Mysterious  Universe  in  1994  but  these  passed  me  by.  He  died  in  2008  aged  90. 

457 Buck Rogers in the 25th Century

First  viewed : September  1980

If  one  slightly  annoying  robot  wasn't  enough, Mickey  was  immediately  followed  on  a  Saturday  evening  by  the  extremely  annoying  ( if  rather  more  mobile  )  Twiki, a  regular  character  in  this  sci-fi  extravaganza.

Buck  Rogers  in  the  25th  Century   transplanted  the  1930s  comic  book  hero  to  Earth  five  centuries  later  after  he  awakened  from a  cryogenic  sleep. He  finds  Earth  civilisation  confined  to  a  few  biospheric  cities  amid  a  nuclear  wasteland   with  a  government  determined  to  defend  it  at  all  costs. Buck's  experience  and  skills   as  a  20th  century  pilot  prove  to  be  useful  but  he  remains  an  outsider, often  the  object  of  some  suspicion.

Very  little  about  the  series  was  original. The  aforementioned  Twiki  spoke  in  electronic  gobbledegook  like  R2D2  ( voiced  by  Mel  Blanc )  and  was  translated  by  an  Orac-like  supercomputer  Dr Theophilus  that  he  wore  round  his  neck  like  a  medallion. The  plots  borrowed  liberally  from  Planet  of  the  Apes, Star  Trek, Logan's  Run, Marvel  comics  and   especially  Flash  Gordon  in  having  a  villainess  who  wanted  to  conquer  both  the  Earth  and  Buck  himself.   

The  most  original  element  was  that  Buck  took  most  of  his  orders  from  a  woman , Colonel  Wilma  Deering  , her  antique  Christian  name  reinforcing  the  reactionary nature  of   the  society  she  represented. As  played   by  former  model  Erin  Gray, Wilma  was  a  vision  in  tight  fitting  lycra  spandex  and  the  main  reason , if  not  the  only   one,  for  watching  the  show; my  best  mate  Michael  was  a  huge  fan. She  wasn't  a  particularly  good  actress  but  who  cared  ?  She  and  Buck  occasionally  flirted  but  she  remained  the  boss.

The  series  had  style  but  not  a  great  deal  of  substance. Gerard  wasn't  able  to  convey  much  depth  to  his  character  and  the  scripts  were   never  better  than  adequate. By  the  second  season  ratings  had  dropped  and  it  was  cancelled  after  11  episodes.  Gerard  has   managed  to  keep  his  career  going  but  has  received  most  attention  for  an  ongoing  battle  with  weight  problems. Gray  also  continues  to  act  mainly  in  guest  star  roles  on  TV  but  she  also  runs  a  casting  agency.  



    

456 Metal Mickey

First  viewed  : 6  September  1980

Metal  Mickey  was  an  odd  one. I  found  it  very  annoying  but  something  drew  me  to  tune  in  again  the  following  week.

Metal  Mickey  was  a  five  foot  high  robot  with  a  limited  number  of  movements  who  first  appeared  on  a  Southern  Television  show  The  Saturday  Banana  in  1978 . The  Beeb  generously  allowed  him  to  feature  on  Jim'll  Fix  It  and  LWT's    Head  of  Comedy  noted  the  response  of  the  children  in  the  studio  to  him. He  then  commissioned  Colin  Bostock-Smith  to  write  a  series  around  him  and  brought  in  Monkee  Micky  Dolenz  as  director  and  producer. It  went  into  the  Saturday  teatime  slot  usually  occupied  by  Happy  Days  or  Mork  and  Mindy.

Mickey  was  placed  in  a  middle  class  household  presided  over  by  Mr  Wilberforce  ( Michael  Stainton )  a  joyless  miser  who  managed  a  building  society  and  delighted  in  turning  down  mortgage  applications  ( remember  that  the  eighties  hadn't  quite  got  into  gear  yet ). He  had  an  empty headed  wife  and  three  teenage  children  , college  geek  Ken   ( Ashley  Knight )  who  had  built  Mickey , punky  layabout  Steve  ( Gary  Shail )  and  the  lovely  Haley  ( Lucinda  Bateson  )  who  worried  that  her  boobs  weren't  growing  enough  although  they  looked  more  than  fine  to  me. Also  in  the  household  was  Granny  ( Irene  Handl ). The  other  regular  cast  member  was  the  girl  next  door , a  black  Amazon  called  Janey  ( Lola  Young, at  29  way  too  old  for  the  role )  who  inadvertently  brings  Mickey  to  life  in  the  first  episode  by  feeding  him  a  sweet.

Mickey's  capabilities  were  basically  whatever  the  plot  demanded  ( a  bit  like  Orac  in  Blake's  Seven  )  though  his  main  function  was  to  crack  one  liners  in  a  metallic  monotone . His  biggest  pal  in  the  family  was  Granny  his  "little  fruitbat"  and  for  me  that  was  the  series'  weakness  - too  much  Handl,  playing  the  same  aggravating  character  as  in  Maggie  And  Her.
I  should  say  that  I  think  I  only  watched  the  first  season ; Handl  didn't  feature  much  in  the  latter  two  due  to  ill  health..

The  draw  for  the  15  year  old  me  was  that  it  was  slightly  smutty  for  its  time  slot  so  you  kept  tuning  in  to  see  how  far  it  would  go  especially  with  someone  as  delectable  as  Bateson  in  the  cast.

The  show  ran  for  four   years  with  41  episodes  made  before  he  was  scrapped. Of  the  youngsters,  Knight  is  still   a  jobbing  actor, Shail  a  polymath  who  acts, directs  and  makes  music  and  Young  a  peer  of  the  realm  since  2004  after  holding  a  long  string  of  public  sector  arts  posts  in  London. As  for  Bateson  she  just  disappeared  after  the  series  finished. Her  name  pops  up  in  forum  threads  about  first  TV  crushes  and  the  like  but  there's  never  any  clue  about  where  she  went.  

455 Yes Minister / Yes Prime Minister

First  viewed :  4  September  1980

We  didn't  watch  this  universally  recognised  comedy  classic  when  it  was  first  broadcast  on  BBC2  at  the  beginning  of  the  year, only  catching  up  when  it  followed  Blankety  Blank  on  BBC1.

The  brainchild  of  comic  writers  Anthony  Jay  and  Jonathan  Lynn, the  series  set  out  to  both  illuminate  and  satirise  the  processes  of  government   behind  the  yah-boo  of  political  discourse. As  such  the  minister  in  question,  Jim  Hacker,  was  kept  as  apolitical  as  possible ; his  party  was  never  specified  and  after  the  first  series  his  political  adviser  Frank  Wiesel  was  ditched  for  being  too  obviously  a  Labour  man. Hacker  ran  the fictional  and  deliberately  vague  Department  of  Administrative  Affairs  which  allowed  the  writers  to  range  across  the  spectrum  of  governmental  affairs.

Hacker , a  well-meaning  , not  over-intelligent  man  whose  first  priority  is  his  own  survival.  has  to  contend  with  the  smug, conceited   Permanent  Secretary  Sir  Humphrey  Appleby  who  opposes  any  proposal  likely  to  rock  the  status  quo. Holding  the  ring  is  Hacker's  private  secretary  Bernard  Woolley  whose  instinct  is  to  be  helpful  but  not  at  the  expense  of  his  own  career.

Hacker  was  played  brilliantly  by  Paul  Eddington  who  had  been  thought  the  least  likely  of  The  Good  Life's  quartet  to  flourish  after  that  series  finished  but  he  certainly  fell  on  his  feet  here.  He  was  matched  by  Nigel  Hawthorne  a  character  actor  catapulted  to  fame  by  Sir  Humphrey. Former  Basil  Brush  sideman   Derek  Fowlds  was  somewhat  overshadowed  as  Bernard  but  was  given  some  great  one  liners.

The  series  turned  over  conventional  wisdom  by  achieving  high  viewing  figures  without  compromising  the  intellectual  demands  it  made  of   its  audience. Sir  Humphrey's  "impartial  advice"  speeches  were  always  masterpieces  of  Byzantine  sophistry  with  wordplay  to  rival  Ronnie  Barker. It  was  light  years  away  from  Terry  and  June  or  On  The  Buses   but   people  got  it. Yes  Minister  changed  the  way  people  thought  about  the  establishment  ; "Sir  Humphrey"  became  a  common  noun  to  describe  an  obstructive  bureaucrat  and  people  still  understand  what  it  means  today. The  series'   most  notable  fan  was  a  certain  Margaret  Thatcher, Prime  Minister  throughout   its  run, who  detected  some  of  her  own  iconoclastic  approach  to  government  in  the  scripts.

There  were  three  original  7-episode  seasons  of  Yes  Minister  and  then  a  couple  of  Christmas  specials . In  the  second  of  these,  Humphrey  and  his  cynical  boss  played  by  John  Nettleton  decide  that  Hacker  is  the  least  worst  choice  to  succeed  the  departing  PM   and  contrive  to  secure  his  succession. Hacker  seals  the  deal  by  making  a  Eurosceptic  speech  about  preserving  the  Great  British  Sausage.

This  presaged  a  further  two  series  under  the  title  Yes  Prime  Minister   which  moved  the  core  trio  into  Downing  Street. However  the  relationship  had  changed  somewhat. Hacker  was  now  an  experienced  political  operator  and  could  take  Humphrey  on  at  his  own  game  as  evidenced  in  the  episode  "The  Key"  where  Hacker  clips  his  wings  by  the  simple  expedient  of  confiscating  an  important  key  from  him.

The  series  was  rested   in  1988. Eddington, who  had  been  privately  suffering  from  a  rare  form  of  skin  cancer  for  most  of  his  adult  life , died  in  1995, the  same  year  Hawthorne  was  nominated  for  an  Oscar  for  The  Madness  of  King  George.  These  two  factors  should  have  ended  the  prospect  of  a  revival  but  there  was  an  ill-advised  attempt  on  a  satellite  channel  in  2013. Post - The  Thick  Of  It   ,it  seemed  quaint  and  out  of  touch.

454 Angela Rippon Reporting

First  viewed : 3  September  1980

This  was  a  three  part  series  of  special  50  minute  reports   made  by  BBC  Bristol  and   led  by  the  Beeb's  superstar  newsreader.

I  only  saw  the  first  one , subtitled  The  Soap  Business , which  saw  Angela  trace  the  development  of  the  soap  opera  from  its  early  days  as  a  cash  cow  on  US  radio  for  the  likes  of  Proctor  and  Gamble  to  the  dominance  of  Dallas. Pre-advertising  for  the  show  made  sure  people  knew  she'd  be  interviewing  Larry  Hagman  and  Linda  Gray  during  its  course.

At  this  point  of  course  BBC  TV  didn't  have  a  home -grown  soap  so  part  of  the  programme  concentrated  on  long-running  radio  soap  The  Archers   where  a  small  part  had  been  written  in  for  Angela  as  a  date  for  Nelson  Gabriel. My  mum  was  a  big  fan  of  The  Archers  so  she  was  thrilled  to  see  some  of  the  faces  behind  the  voices  and  noted  that  Eddie  Grundy  was  just  as  she'd  pictured  him.

The  subsequent  programmes  were  about  psychics  and  salesman  techniques.

There  wasn't  another  season  made  which  may  have  influenced  Angela  to  defect  to  ITV  and  her  ill-fated  stint  on  TV-am. She  bounced  back  of  course  in  many  different  shows  but  I  think  this  was  the  last  time  she  had  her  name  in  the  title.