444 The European Championship 1980

First  viewed  : 12  June  1980

It's  interesting  to  be  writing  about  this  less  than  a  week  after  the  latest  tournament  concluded.

In  1980  the  European  Championship  was  much  less  of  a  deal  than  it  is  now. In  fact  the  Finals  had  only  just  been  extended  from  four  to  eight  teams ; the  1976  tournament  had  completely  passed  me  by.  What  made  this  one  important  is  that   it  was  the  first  major  Finals  England  had  qualified  for  in  a  decade  ( even  further  back  if  you  don't  count  qualification  as  hosts  or  holders ) . Ron  Greenwood  had  managed  it  without  too  much  drama  as  England  had  come  through  a  relatively  easy  group  unscathed. The  squad  was  fairly  settled  with  many  players  ( Shilton, Clemence, Corrigan, Neal, Mills, Cherry, Watson , Hughes ,Wilkins, Brooking , Keegan , Coppell )  involved  right  from  the  beginning  of  Greenwood's  reign  in  1977.  Liverpool's  dominance  of  the  domestic  game  was  reflected  in  the  addition  of  Thompson, Johnson, McDermott  and  Ray  Kennedy  ( taking  Peter  Barnes'  place  on  the  left ) to  the  squad  while  Nottingham  Forest  had  Garry  Birtles, Viv  Anderson  and  their  former  striker  ( now  with  Cologne ) Tony  Woodcock  keeping  Shilton  company.

England  were  in  a  group  with  hosts  Italy, Spain  and  Belgium who  hadn't  qualified  for  the  1978  World  Cup.  The  winners  would  go  straight  to  the  Final, the  runners-up  to  the  Third  Place  Play  Off . England's   first  game   was  against  Belgium  and  was  a  tepid  1-1  draw  with  a  rare  goal  by  ultra-cautious  midfielder  Ray  Wilkins  opening  the  scoring.  Belgium  equalised  shortly  afterwards  through  Jan  Ceulemans.  Unfortunately  the  game  is  better  remembered  for  a  section  of   England   supporters  starting  a  brawl  on  the  terraces  and  the  game  being  held  up  while  police  dispersed  them  with  tear  gas . Some  of   the  gas  drifted  onto  the  pitch  and  affected  Ray  Clemence  who  received  treatment  for  it.

 Italy's  game  with  Spain  was  goalless. Belgium  won  their  next  game  against  Spain  so  England  needed  at  least  a  draw   in  their  game  against  Italy  to  stay  in  contention.

They  didn't  get  it. The  Italians  playing  their  usual  cynical  defensive  game  typified  by  the  inappropriately  named  defender  Claudio  Gentile  shut  England  out   and  then  got  a  goal  on  the  break. To  rub  salt  in  the  wound  the  goal  was  scored  by  their  man-marking  specialist  Marco  Tardelli. I remember  Mick  Channon  once  saying  he  thought  Tardelli  was  going  to  join  him  on  the  toilet.  I  had  assumed  the  bloke  couldn't  actually  do  anything  else  so  it  was  a  shock  to  see  him  leave  Keegan's  side  and  poke  the  ball  home  past  Shilton. Greenwood  was  still  doing  what  he  is  most  often  criticised  for, refusing  to  make  a  judgement  call  between  Clemence  and  Shilton  and  playing  them  in  alternate  games.

No  possible  result  between  Belgium  and  Italy  in  the  final  group  game  would  allow  England   or  Spain  to  make  the  Final  so  the  game   between  them   was  essentially  meaningless. Goals  from  Brooking  and  Woodcock  gave  England  a  2-1  win. Belgium  held  off  Italy  for  a  0-0  to  go  through  to  the  Final  on  goal  difference  and  keep  England  out  of  the  Third  Place  play  off.

It  had  been  a  disappointing  showing. Ray  Kennedy, perhaps  getting  the  first  intimation  of  the  Parkinson's  Disease  which  has  subsequently  blighted  his  life, announced  his  retirement  from  international  football  as  the  squad  flew  home.

West  Germany  saw  off  holders  Czechoslovakia, Holland  and  surprise  qualifiers  Greece  to  top  their  Group  and  then  defeated  Belgium  2-1  in  the  Final.

Not  all  the  matches  were  shown  live  and  the  England  v  Spain  game  was  on  while  I  was  still  at  school. I  think  I  may  have  only  seen  the  first  two  England  games  and  perhaps  some  highlights  from  the  others.            

443 The Big Time

First  viewed : 11  June  1980

This  show  was  on  to  its  third  and  final  season   when  I  tuned  in.  It  was  created  (  and  initially  narrated )  by  Esther  Rantzen  and  was  an  early  "reality"  show  where  amateurs  or  beginners  in  a  field  were  given  a  crack   at  appearing  on  the  big  stage  through  the  good  offices  of  Auntie  Esther. The  results  were  always  prerecorded  and  the  programme  given  a  smooth  narrative  arc. The  programme  had  attracted  controversy  in  the  first  season  in  1976  when  Fanny  Craddock  was  invited  to  comment  on  the  efforts  of  an  amateur  chef. Craddock  went  badly  off  message  and  tore  the  woman  to  shreds. Rantzen  saw  that  she  didn't  appear  on  BBC  TV  again.

I  actually  only  watched  the  one  episode  when  it  was  first  broadcast, the  opening  one  where  a  27  year  old  schoolteacher  from  Burnley  wanted  to  become  a  professional  wrestler  and  the  doyen  of  the  circuit  in  Britain, Max  Crabtree,  agreed  to  put  him  on  the  bill  at  the  Royal  Albert  Hall. Keith  Rawlinson  was  a  mild , religious, rather  callow  young  man , with  a  touch  of  Craig  Cash  about  him, who  fancied  getting  in  the  ring  despite  weighing  less  than  12  stone.

By  this  point  Rantzen  had  turned  over  narrative  duties  to  her  acolytes  so  it  was  Paul  Heiney who  followed  his  adventures  without  concealing  his  bafflement  as  Keith  spent  three  months getting  seven  bells  knocked  out  of  him  by  the  likes  of  Tally-ho-Kaye  ( who  the  programme revealed  to  be  a  pretty  nice  guy  in  contrast  to  his  ring  persona )  and  Cyanide  Sid  Cooper. He  found  the  time  to  pose  the  question  about  match-fixing  to  which  ring  commentator  Kent Walton  provided  a  not  entirely  convincing  anecdotal  answer.

At  the  end  of  the  three  month  training  period  Heiney  proclaimed  that  Keith   was  "beginning to  look  like  a  wrestler"  but  nobody  else  seemed  very  convinced  and  they  were  proved  right on  the  night. Keith , re-christened  "Rip"  was  up  against  "Golden  Ace " John  Naylor,  a  taciturn but  generally  fair  lightweight  from  Wigan  who  despatched  him  without  breaking  sweat. In  the first  round  he  got  Rip's  leg  in  a  painful  submission  hold  and  Keith,  not  recognising  the trouble  he  was  in , refused  to  submit. Eventually  Naylor  let  go  but  the  damage  had  been  done and  Keith  was  hobbling. A  further  attack  on  the  leg  produced  an  instant   submission. Keith struggled  through  two  more  rounds, probably  by  Naylor's  leave, and  then  had  to  throw  in  the towel.

Crabtree  later  agreed  to  film  a  sequence  where  he  supposedly  saw  Keith  off   at  the  stage door  at  the  end  of  the  night. In  reality  Keith  was  taken  straight  to  hospital  but  that  wasn't the  ending  Esther  wanted. The  poor  guy  was  still  receiving  treatment  months  later . To  his credit,  Crabtree  offered  to  find  him  a  job  on  the  circuit  but  I'm  guessing  he  stuck  with teaching.

The  most  famous  episode  of  all  three  seasons  followed  three  weeks  later  when  it  followed  the  first  steps  of    Sheena  Easton 's  career. Although  the  programme  ended  on  a  note  of  uncertainty  because  her  first  single,  Modern  Girl,  hadn't  made  the  Top  40 , she  had  another  one  lined  up  to  go  once  the  episode  had  been  aired   and  9  To  5  shot  up  the  charts.  I  didn't  see  that  one  until  it  was  repeated, half  a  dozen  hits for  Sheena  later , in  1981.

The  programme  was  re-vamped, for  the  better  in  my  opinion,  as   In  At  The  Deep  End   which  we'll  come  to  in  due  course.

 

442 The Other 'Arf

First viewed :  Spring  1980

As  far  as  ITV  sitcoms  go  this  was  a  reasonably  engaging  show  about  class  conflict  which provided  another TV vehicle  for  former  model  Lorraine  Chase  beside  her  regular  occupancy   of   "bimbo  corner "  on  Blankety  Blank.  Chase   made  her  name   in  ads  for  Campari   in  the late seventies  which  made  effective  use  of  the  contrast  between  her  exotic  looks  and  Deptford accent. Terence  Howard,  who  scripted  those  ads,  pitched  extending   the  idea  to  a  comedy series  to  the  Likely  Lads  duo  Dick  Clement  and  Ian  La  Frenais  who  agreed  to  come  on board.

Chase , who  had  little  acting  experience  other  than  the  ads, played  Lorraine  Watts  (  to  help her  with  her  cues ), a  Cockney  model  who  becomes  involved  with  a  benign  Tory  MP  Charles Latimer  ( John  Standing )  and   they  start  moving  in  each  other's  circles. It  was  basically  an update  of  Pygmalion   with  the  Alf  Dolittle  role  performed  by  John  Cater  as  Lorraine's  dad George.

It  was  OK  I  suppose. I  never  watched  it  with  full  attention  but  it  ran  for  four  seasons  so  it must  have  held  its  own  in  the  ratings.

 

441 Tales From A Long Room

First  viewed  : Spring  1980

If   Your  Life  In  Their  Hands   was   unpalatable  then  a  continuous  loop  of  this,  which  followed  it  on  a  couple  of  Thursdays , would  be  part  of  my  Room  101  nightmare.  That  actually  seems  a  little  churlish  since  there  was  only  half  an  hour  of  it  spread  over  two  weeks.

Tales  from  a  Long  Room  started  out as  a  comic  novel  by  Peter  Tinniswood  the  writer  of  the  successful  late seventies  comedy  series  I  Didn't  Know  You  Cared  . It  was  basically  the  reminiscences  of  a  blinkered , half-senile , xenophobic  Brigadier  in  a  village  called  Witney  Scrotum  who  gets  important   world  events  mixed  up  with  cricket  matches. He  was  played  by  Robin  Bailey  who'd  made  his  name  by  playing  cantankerous  old  Yorkshireman  Uncle  Mort   in  IDKYC.

There's  one  word  in  there  which  explains   my  aversion  to  it. I  have  a  lifelong  detestation  of   cricket  and  its  attendant  culture  which  comes  from  my  dad  hogging  the  television  set , which  otherwise  he  affected  to  disdain,  and  radio  during  the  summer  holidays. Cricket  came  with  dry  old  bores  talking  about  nothing  in  particular  and  impenetrable  jargon. Worst  of  all  matches  went  on  forever  and  at  the  end  of  them  the  weather might  have   decided   the  outcome. Playing  it  was  slightly  more  interesting  but  still  involved  large  stretches  where  you  stood  around  not  doing  very  much.

I've  no  doubt  Tinniswood's  scripts  were  sharp  and  witty  if  you  were  in  the  know  but  once  cricket  was  involved,  the  shutters  came  down  for  me  I'm  afraid.

The  series,  if  you  can  call  it  that,  was   repeated  in  1981  and  1982 . There  were  also  two  five  part  radio  adaptations  - again  with   Bailey- broadcast  in  those  two  years. One  of  them  was  re-broadcast  to  mark  Tinniswood's  passing  in  2003.

440 Your Life In Their Hands

First  viewed : Spring  1980

I  have  many  faults, too  many  to  mention, but  can  honestly  say  that  hypochondria  isn't  one  of  them. I  get  annoyed  by  being  ill  and  are  more  likely  to  make  it  worse  by  soldiering  on  through  it  than  wallowing  in  it.

My  mother, for  all  her  many  virtues, was  a  hpochondriac  and  always  likely  to  interpret  a slight  tickle  in  her  throat  as  laryngitis , encouraged  by  watching  programmes  like  this.

Your  Life  In  Their  Hands    was  originally  broadcast  between  1958  and  1964. It  basically  went  into  hospitals  and  investigated  the  treatment  of  various  medical  phenomena  incorporating  pre-  recorded  footage  from  the  operating  theatre. Hospitals  and  their  staff  took  part  in  it  in  the  face  of  trenchant  opposition  from  the  British  Medical  Association  who  felt  that  it  was  voyeuristic  and  would  increase  pressure  on  the  health  service  as  people  got  more  informed. It  returned  in  1980  on  BBC2  with  the  promise  of  now  seeing  blood  and  guts  in  colour. It  was  also  more  focused  on  individual  cases  than  general  issues.

I  can't  for  the  life  of  me  understand  why  anybody  would  choose  to  watch  this  for entertainment. I'm  not  squeamish - as  you  probably  know  I  like  horror  films - I'm  just completely  uninterested  in  the  subject  matter. Just  let  the  professionals  get  on  with  it ! Therefore  this  falls  into  the  category  of  something  I  saw  reluctantly  because  I  was  fed  up  of sitting  in  my  room  alone.

The  programme  ran  regularly  until  1987  and  has  been  revived  periodically  since.

439 Arena

First  viewed  : Uncertain

I  must  admit  I  never  quite  got  my  head  around  the  difference  between  Omnibus  and  Arena ,  the  two  long-running  arts  strands,  except  that  the  former  was  on  BBC1  and  the  latter  on  BBC2.

Arena  started  in  1975  and  was  originally  split  into  two  separate  strands  on  alternate  weeks , one  dealing  with  the  theatre  and  one  with  art  and  design . A  third  strand  for  cinema  started the  following  year  and  there  were  new  ones  for  "Television" and  "Rock" in  1978  which  were only  used  for  one  episode  each. This  demarcation  was  scrapped  in  1979.

The  first  Arena  episode  I  can  definitely  recall  watching  is  the  one  on  21  May  1980  which featured  the  work  of  satirists  Peter  Fluck  and  Roger  Law  who  of  course  went  on  to  do Spitting  Image. At  this  point  their   work  was  in  plasticene  with  completely  static  figures  to be used  for  magazine  covers  and  illustrations.

As  with  other  long-running  strands  I  will  add  to  this  as  we  go  along  -

Superman  ( 26  December  1981 )

As  the  title  suggests , this  episode  looked  at  the  origins  and  cultural  impact  of  the  original  American  superhero, beginning  by  interviewing  its  creators  Joe  Schuster  and   Jerry  Siegel. It  mixed  footage  from  the  various  incarnations  with  talking  head  contributions  from  the  obvious  ( Christopher  Reeve, Margot  Kidder ) to  little-known  academics  and   alternative  comic  champions.  It  didn't  avoid  the  darker  aspects  of  the  tale  such  as  the  name's  origin  with  Nietzsche  or  the  suicide  of  1950s  TV  Superman  George  Reeves. And  of  course  we  know  the  story  had  another  dark  twist  to  come. The  part  I  recall  best  is  British  strong  man   Dave  Prowse  grousing  about  not   getting  the  part  because  he  wasn't  an  American   ( as  his  West  Country  burr  would  have  made  obvious )  and  then  being  asked  to  buff   up  Christopher  Reeve  for  the  role "so  he  looks  just  like  you ".

438 Voices From The Past

First  viewed : April  1980

I'm  not  expecting  to  ever  be  able  to  find  an  illustration  for  this  one.

Historians  of  the  punk  rock  movement  , when  discussing  the  infamous  Bill  Grundy  interview  in  1976  , usually  throw  in  some  cheap,  lazy  line  like  "Grundy  never  worked  again". That's  not  true . London  viewers  may  not  have  seen  him  on  their  Today  programme  for  much  longer  but  he  certainly  wasn't  short  of  work  on  regional  TV  for  some  years  afterwards.

BBC  North  West,  for  example, employed  him  as  a  presenter  for  a  number  of  shows  and  this  was  one  of  them. I  think  there  was  an  earlier  series  but  I  caught  the  one  that  began  in  May  1980. Voices  from  the  Past, broadcast  in  the  Friday  night  slot  usually  occupied  by  Home  Ground ,  was  a  serious  attempt  to  investigate  whether  there  was  any  truth  in  the  theory  of  reincarnation. It  brought  into  the  studio  a  number  of  people  who  believed  they'd  enjoyed  past  lives  and  put  them  under  hypnosis  to  probe  into  their  "experiences ". The  one  I  remember  best  was  a  middle  aged  lady  who  answered  the  expert  interrogator's  questions  as  a  Jacobite  soldier.

Grundy. who'd  made  his  reputation  in  the  sixties  as  a  dependable  anchorman, was  a  sceptical  but  not  hostile  host  who  discussed  the  findings  with  the  experts  in  good  faith.  The  programme  employed  reputable  archivists  to  dig  into  the  records  to  find  out  if  these  past  people  had  really  existed  and  the  answer  came  back  negative. At  the  end  of  the  series  Grundy  announced  that  there   was  no  evidence  of  reincarnation  but  that  the  experiment  had  been  a  worthwhile  investigation  into  a  psychological  phenomenon.  I  tend  to  agree  with  him.