132 The Golden Shot

First  watched :  1973

I  don't  think  this  was  ever  on  in  our  house  but  I  caught  it  once  or  twice  next  door.

This  unfathomably  popular  game  show  was  based  on  a  German  series. Basically  contestants  had  to  hit  a  target  with  a  crossbow  bolt  by  verbally  guiding  a  blindfolded  cameraman. That  was  it  basically  but  the  rounds  were  interspersed  by  banter  from  the  host  and  special  guests  from  the  fields  of  music  and  comedy. First  host  Alex  Rae  in  1967  was  quickly  bumped  by  the  shark-eyed , perma-tanned   Bob  Monkhouse  who  made  sure  he  upstaged  Rae  in  his  guest  appearance.

Monkhouse  was  absolutely  vital  to  the  show. Because  half  the  contestants  were  playing  by  telephone  it  was  a  live  show  and  utterly  shambolic. Monkhouse's  sharp  wit  and  fleet-footedness  held  it  together  amid  the  missed  cues, prematurely-fired  bolts , arithmetically  challenged  dolly  birds  and  tongue-tied  contestants.

Monkhouse  was  controversially  dismissed  in  1972  for  accepting  a  gift  from  Wilkinson  Sword  who  then  provided  a  prize  for  the  show. It  was  very  small  beer. The  producers  then  suicidally  allowed  him  to  present  a  last  show  with  his  replacement  Norman  Vaughan  watching  from  the  wings   and  having  to  endure  a  series  of  jibes  from  Bob  egged  on  by  the  audience.

Though  a  successful  comedian  Vaughan  never  stood  a  chance  and  things  got  even  worse  when  the  utterly  crap  Yorkshire  comedian  Charlie  Williams  replaced  him. He  was  completely  at  sea; contestants  were  lucky  if  he  got  half  their  name  right. In  1974  the  execs  swallowed  hard  and  invited  Bob  back. He  agreed  but , suspecting  that  the  show  may  have  had  its  day,  he  made  it  a  condition  that  he  be  allowed  to  host  a  new  show  which  became  Celebrity  Squares. A  much  sharper  operator  than  he's  generally  given  credit  for,  Bob's  instincts  were  absolutely  right  and  the  show  was  axed  the  following  year.

131 The Saint

First  watched  :  Uncertain

I  probably  first  saw  this  on  a  Sunday  afternoon  in  1973  but  can't  be  certain.

This  of  course  was  the  series  that  made  Roger  Moore  a  superstar  and  where  he  perfected  the  quizzical  raised  eyebrow  expression  beloved  of  satirists  everywhere. The  modestly  talented  actor  explained  it  by  saying  that  his  character  Simon  Templar  had  no  depth  whatsoever  and  consequently  he  never  knew  how  he  was  to  play  the  scene.

Besides  Roger  the  series's  main  ace, once  in  colour,  was  the  exotic location  work, expensive  but  it  paid  off  in  international  sales.  My  first  impressions  of  Europe, as  a  world  of  sun, yachts  and  casinos , came  from  this  and  jig-saw  pictures.

The  common  misconception  is  that  the  series  came  to  an  end  when  Moore  accepted  the  part  of  Bond  but  in  fact  he'd  turned  it  down  twice  in  the  sixties  in  favour  of  continuing  as  Templar.  The  series  actually  ran  its  course  until  1969  when  Moore   and  ITC   decided  to  develop  an  idea  from  one  of  the  final  episodes  as  a  new  show  The  Persauaders.

We'll  discuss  its  successor  series  in   a  separate  post.   

130 The Addams Family

First  watched  :  1973

It  was  round  about  this  time  that  our   neighbour  Mrs  M  became  a  bit  less  bothered  about  us  playing  indoors  so  this  is  the  first  of  a  string  of  programmes - almost  invariably  on  ITV - that  were  first, if  not  exclusively, glimpsed  next  door.

The  Addams  Family  was  made  between  1964  and  1966  , inspired  by  the  satirical  cartoons  of  Charles  Addams  in  the  New  Yorker  magazine  ( whose  proprietors  were  less  than  enthusiastic  about  having  a  popular  TV  show  tied  to  their  upmarket  publication )  about  a  family  with  a  pronounced  taste  for  the  Gothic  and  macabre.  All   subsequent  adaptations  are  based  almost   entirely  on  this  series  rather  than  the  original  cartoons  where  the  family  members  weren't  even  named.

The  appeal  of  the  series  was  always  the  contrast  between  the  horror  trappings  and  the   good-natured  family  comedy  underneath. They  were  all   likeable  characters  with  great  affection  for  each  other. The  enduring  appeal  of  the  series  can  be  judged  its  continuing  use   as  a  source  for  not-always-kind  nicknames. Any  girl  with  long  straight  dark  hair  is  likely  to  get  called  Morticia  particularly  if  her  clothes  are  less  than  colourful  while  any  over-sized  but  apparently  slow-witted  guy  has  a  good  chance  of  being  likened  to  the  lugubrious  butler, Lurch.

The  most  notable  member  of  the  cast  was  Jackie  Coogan  as  the  creepy  Uncle  Fester  who  achieved  early  fame  as  "The  Kid"  in  Charlie  Chaplin's  film  of  the  same  name  and  later  became  the  catalyst  for  legislation  protecting  the  earnings  of  child  stars  when  he  sued  his  parents  for  squandering  his  earnings.  John  Astin   ( Gomez )  was  the  last  member  of  the  original  cast  to  be  involved  with  the  franchise  voicing  his  character  in  the  animated  series  of  1992. Apart  from  Lisa  Loring  who  played  Wednesday  he  is  the  only  surviving  member  of  the  cast  at  the  time  of  writing.  

My  only  gripe  with  the  series  was  that  the  child  characters   Wednesday  and  Pugsley  (  who  was  originally  to  be  called  Pubert ! )   were  not  always  involved  in  the  storylines.

129 Wimbledon

First  watched : 1973

My  mum  and  gran  were  always  huge  Wimbledon  fans  so  it's  almost  certain  that  I  saw  something  of  earlier  tournaments  but  I'm  putting  Wimbledon  coverage  here  because  the  first  thing  I  definitely  recall  is  the  teen  hysteria  surrounding  a  17-year  old  Swede  with  his  flowing  blonde  locks  who  made  it  to  the  quarter-finals. Bjorn  Borg  even  got  a  feature  in  It's  Here  And  Now  which  was a bit  strange  considering  he  hadn't  released  a  record. Perhaps  he  practised  in  his  bedroom  with  a  guitar. He was  put  out  by  Roger  Taylor, the  last  British  male  to  make  the  semis  for  nearly  30  years  ( though  in  truth  he  probably  only  got  there  because  a  lot  of  the  big  guns  were  boycotting  Wimbledon  that  year ).

Borg  became  my  first  favourite  and  I  was  pleased  he   went  on  to  win  it  five  times  in  a  row  after  growing  a  scruffy  beard  to  scare  away  the  teenyboppers. After  he  lost  to  McEnroe  in  the  1981 Final  - a tournament  I  followed  almost  entirely  through  the papers  as  I  was  on  a  long  walking  holiday  in  the  Lakes  for  most  of  that  fortnight -  he  never  played  there  again, a  boycott  of  the  1982  tournament  for  some  reason  or other  became  a  complete  retirement  the  following  year. He  had  his  ups  and  downs   out  of   the  game  with  divorce, a  suicide  attempt, mixed  fortunes  as  a  businessman  and  a  bonkers  attempt  at  a  comeback  in  the  nineties  when  he  tried to  turn  back  the  clock  by  using  his  old  wooden  rackets. He  later  joined  the  Champions  tour  and  seemed  more  content  although  in  2006  he  put  his  trophies  up  for  auction  until  John  McEnroe  and  other  champs  talked  him  out  of  it.

Mum  and  Gran  didn't  mind  Borg  but  they  had  their  pet  hates. Mum's  was  Billie  Jean  King  whose  career  choice  to  have  an  abortion  made  her  absolutely  beyond  the  pale  and  Chris  Evert  became  a  huge  favourite, despite  her  crushingly  boring  playing  style, just  because  she  could  beat  King. Gran's  target  was  Jimmy  Connors  whose  brash , pugilistic  manner  and  graceless  demeanour  on  court  lowered  the  tone  at  SW19. Arthur  Ashe's  famous  triumph  against  him  in  1975  was  hugely  applauded.

The  first  tournament  where  I  recall  several  events  was  unsurprisingly  1977  with  Virginia  Wade's  triumph  in  Jubilee  year. Sue  Barker  reached  her  career  high  as  a  losing  semi-finalist  and  the  obscure  British  player  John  Lloyd  secured  a  victory  he  still  dines  out  on  against  the  cannonball-serving  Roscoe  Tanner  in  an  earlier  round. That  brings  me  to  a  perennial  bugbear  about  the  coverage; the  assumption  that  we're  more  interested  in  how  mediocre  British  journeymen  are  doing  than  anything  else  and  automatically  want  them  to  beat  the  great  players  when  they  come  up  against  them. This  was  at  its  worst   in  1993  when  some  guy  called  Andrew  Foster  had  a  competitive  third  set  against  Pete  Sampras  and  the  commentators  went  along  with  the  crowd's  ugly  delusion  that  he  could  turn  the  match  around. Fortunately  the  mikes  didn't  pick  up  Sampras's    "Hasta  la  vista  motherfuckers"  to  the  crowd  when  he  came  through  the  tiebreak. on  his  way  to  the  first  of  seven  titles.

For  the  women  it  was  even  worse,  a  situation  accurately  summed  up  by  a  Spitting  Image  sketch  which  ran  "Passer-by  bt  Jo Durie,  Parking  cone  beat  Anne  Hobbs"  and  so  on. Pity  poor  Laura  Robson  trying  to  overturn  nearly  40  years  of  non-achievement  in  the  women's  game.

1977  also  saw  the  emergence  of  the  young  John  McEnroe  the  teenage  qualifier  who  fought  his  way  to  the  semi-final  against  Connors. I  feared  that  might  be  his  one  shot  at  glory  but  of  course  he  went  on  to  three  titles , gaining  his  revenge  on  Connors  with  an  utter  annihilation  in  the  1984  final,   and  oodles  of  controversy  for  his  on-court  tantrums. He  introduced  a  new  insult  to  the  UK  when  he called  an  umpire  "the  pits  of  the  world" in  1981. Like  his  friend  Borg, McEnroe  faded  rather  early  , distracted  by  family  life  but  is  now  the  star  of  the  BBC  commentary  team.

That  is  actually  much  improved  from  my  early  days   with   toffs  like  the  crusty  Dan  Maskell  "Oh  that  angle  didn't  exist"   and  the  tedious  Anne  Jones  a  former  champion  who  looked  like  the  back  end  of  a  bus,  Unfortunately  we  still  have  to  put  up  with  "Our  Ginny"  whose talent  for  stating  the  obvious  is  only  leavened  by  her  curious  habit  of  putting  the  emphasis  on  THE  wrong  word.   The  best  in  those  days  was  probably  Gerald  Williams. I  remember  being  shocked  in  the  early  eighties  when  he  came  out  from  behind  the  mike  to  co-present  the  highlights  programme  with  Des  Lynam :  never  has  the  phrase  "a  face  for  radio"  seemed  more  apt. He  broke  up  the  partnership  when  he  moved  over  to  Sky  and  since  then  we've  had  to  put  up  with  the  slouching  slug  John  Inverdale  whose  high  reputation  baffles  me. I've  hated  him  since  his  boring  Drivetime  show  replaced  the  excellent  Five-A-Side   in  1993 ; it  seems  like  I'm  the  only  person  who  still  holds  a  candle  for  the  original  Radio  5. I  was  rather  hoping  his  comments  about  Marion  Bartoli's  looks  would  sink  him  but  no  such  luck.

Besides  being  no  oil  painting  himself  Inverdale's  comments  were  misplaced  because  on  the   looks  spectrum  of  female  tennis  players  Bartoli   is  actually  somewhere  in  the  middle. What  on  earth  would  he  find  to  say  about  the  overweight  Lindsay  Davenport, hairy  Arantcha  Sanchez-Vicario, jut-jawed  Justine  Henin  or  the  sasquatch , Pam  Shriver ?  Yes  of  course  it's  a  bit  sexist  to  be  discussing  female  tennis  players'  looks  but  how  else  could  you  stay  interested  in  the  women's  game  when  for  such  long  periods  it's  been  so  uncompetitive ?
Martina  Navratilova  actually  seemed  like  a  bit  of  a  flake  as  a  young  Czech  in  the  seventies  when  she  rarely  justified  her  seeding  but  once  she'd  defected, gone  blond  and  muscled  up  she  dominated  the  eighties  and  it  was  a  welcome  relief  when  Steffi  Graff  arrived  to  put  a  stop  to  that. Since  her  hey-day  we've  had  to  put  up  with  the  repellent  Williams  sisters  and  their  supremely  annoying  father  and  I  look  forward  to  their  retirement. I've  tended  to  back  under-achieving  lookers - anyone  remember  Andrea  Temesvari  or  Bettina  Bunge ? - and  I'm  hoping  current  fave  Sabine  Lisicki  can  break  the  duck.

Talking  of  seedings  why  do  Wimbledon  slavishly  follow  the  world  rankings  when  they  know that  the  grass  courts  render  many  players'  past  records  redundant ? Hence  you  had  the  annual embarrassment  of  Guillermo  Vilas  , continually  seeded  three  or  four  but  always  going  out  in  the  first   round   because  he  couldn't  play  on  the  surface. Mats  Wilander  was  another  top  player  who  was  absolutely  wretched  at  Wimbledon.

There's  no  doubt  which  was  my  least  favourite  tournament - 1985. I  absolutely  loathed  Boris  Becker  the  boorish  brute  from  Germany. There  was  an  air  of  inevitability  about  his  progress  to  the  title  despite  injuries  and  match  points  against  him . In  the  fourth  round  he  twisted  an  ankle  against  Tim  Mayotte, a  man  who  seemed  to  put  being  the  anithesis  to  McEnroe  on  court  above  actually  winning  anything. Becker  was  trailing  and  ready  to  quit  but  Mayotte  was  reluctant  to  accept  his  concession  and  lost  the  match  when  Becker  resumed  after  lengthy  treatment. He  then  beat  Kevin  Curren  who'd  removed  the  heavyweights,  Connors  and  McEnroe, for  him,  in  the  Final.  As  sadly  predicted  Curren  never  made   the  final  again. I'm  grateful  to  Edberg  and  Stich  for  restricting  Becker  to  three  titles.

For  all  my  gripes  I'll  still  be  watching  avidly  this  June.



  

128 Daktari

First  watched  : Summer  1973

Daktari  was  a  US  made  drama  series  derived  from  the  1965  film  Clarence  the  Cross-Eyed  Lion  about  a  vet  and  his  daughter  working  in  East  Africa. Both  the  ( human )  stars  of  the  film  Marshall  Thompson  and  the  leggy  Cheryl  Miller  were  on  board  for  the  duration  of  the  series. It  was  made  between  1966  and  1969  , largely  on  a  safari  ranch  in  California  although  stock  footage  was  inserted  to  make  it  look  more  authentically  African  with  occasional  mistakes  like  tigers  and  Indian  elephants  creeping  in.

BBC1  brought  it  back  to  fill  out  the  Friday  teatime  schedule  in  1973  after  more  than  three  year's  absence. I  must  apologise  to  fans  of  the  series  that  I  have  little  recollection   other  than  disinterest  and  boredom  with  it  although  my  wife  remembers  it  more  fondly.

Short  runs  of  episodes  were  used  on  holiday  mornings  for  the  next  four  years  but  it  hasn't  been  seen  since  1977. Both  Thompson  and  Miller  continued  to  act  on  TV  in  the  seventies  without  achieving  similar  fame. Thompson  died  in  1992. Miller  is  still  alive  and  her  son  is  the  magician  Eric  Seidenglanz.

127 We Are The Champions

First  watched :  June  1973

This  low  budget  cross  between  a  school  sports  day  and  It's  A  Knockout   proved  to  be  a  winner  with  a  revival   on  Sport  Relief  as  recently  as  2010.

Hosted  by  po-faced  athletics  commentator  Ron  Pickering  and  a  sporting  celebrity  guest,  the  programme  featured three  or   four  teams  of  sporty  youngsters - aged  around  11  or  12 -  representing  their  schools  in  a  series  of  challlenges   ( usually  similar  to  those  on  It's  A  Knockout  in  milder  and  scaled  down  form )  split  between  field  and  pool.  Each  school  bussed  in  a  load  of  other  pupils  to  wave  teddies  and  enviously  cheer  their  school  mates  on .It  famously  concluded  with  Pickering  shouting  " Away  you  go ! "  and  the  competitors  jumping  back  in  the  pool  as  the  credits  ran.

Although   school  sports  and  PE  were  usually  something  of  a  nightmare  for  me  I  didn't  mind  watching  this. My  sister  was  a  bit  more  interested  in  sport , if  little  more  co-ordinated, so  was  the  keener  viewer.

The  show  barely  survived  the  mid-eighties  re-vamp  of  childrens  TV  on  BBC1. After  1987  it  was  restricted  to  an  annual  one-off  special  and  these  continued  after  Pickering's  death  in  1991.  Though  he  was  already  a  smooth  football  pundit, the  remaining  shows  through  to  1995  gave  Gary  Lineker  his  first  presenting  gig.

Most  of  the  recordings, even  from  the  eighties ,  were  dumped  fairly  soon  afterwards  so  as  far  as  I  can  tell  no  future  sporting  star  has  been  identified  as having  been  a  competitor  on  the  programme.      

126 Clunk Click

First  watched : 1973

Hmm ... yes....well... what  do  we  say  about  this  one ?

Well  it  was  one  an  odd  proposition  from  the  off,  a  variety-cum-chat  show  hosted  by  a professional  eccentric ,  normally  a  disc  jockey, and  named  after  the  slogan  for  a  public  safety  campaign  on  seat  belts  that  he  was  fronting. The  show  pandered  to  Savile's  ego  by  giving  him  a  chair-cum-throne   to  sit  on  with  tacky  gimmicks  in  the  arms.

For  obvious  reasons  there  isn't  too  much  footage  around  but  you  can  find  bits  here  and  there  such  as  Pan's  People's  appearance  ( above ) which  drew  complaints  from  Mary  Whitehouse  about  their  revealing  dresses. The  selection  of  the  Song  for  Europe  in  1974  to  be  sung  by  Olivia  Newton-John  took  place  on  the  programme  and  it's  notable  how  cowed  and  uncomfortable  - though  he  was  always  clumsy  when  he  had  to  engage  in  normal  conversation -  he  seemed  when  interviewing  a  beautiful  adult  woman.

The  other  thing  that  strikes  you  about  the  interview  extracts  is  how  religious  he  was,  with  frequent  references  to  "the  Good  Lord",  particularly  evident  in  a  toe-curling  encounter  with  a  young  Yuri  Geller.  You  can't  imagine  any  modern  day  host  being  allowed  to  proselytise  so  much. Cynics  who  say  this  was  just  a  part  of  the  "front"  for  his  nefarious  activities  off  screen   know  nothing  about  Catholicism. Jimmy  Savile  didn't  run  punishing  marathons  in  late  middle  age  just  to  throw  people  off  the  scent  - there  were  far  easier  ways  to  do  that ;  they  were  an  attempt  to  balance  the  scales  with  God, do  enough  good  works  to make  up  for  his  sexual  weaknesses. We  can't  know  whether  it  was  successful.

The  show  lasted  for  two  series  before  it  morphed  into  Jim'll  Fix  It.