Monday 19 September 2016

497 Pop Quiz


Chart  entered :  4  July  1981

Having  spent  nearly  two  weeks  away  from  the  TV  in  the  Lake  District , I  came  back  to  find this  starting  on  the  first  Saturday  back ,  shortly  after  John  McEnroe  ended  the  Borg-era  at Wimbledon.

Pop  Quiz  was  the  brainchild  of  its  presenter, Radio  One's  know-it-all  DJ  Mike  Read  whose  star  was  very  much  in  the  ascendant. To  be  fair  to  him  he  certainly  was  an  expert  on  pop  history  although  inevitably  he  made  the  odd  mistake. I  remember  Duran's  John  Taylor  being  asked  what  Roxy's  last  hit  was  and  correctly  answering  Take  A  Chance   when  Read  was  looking  for  Avalon.  Read  was  also  very  well  connected  and  it  was  a  huge  surprise  to  see  major  rock  stars  who  wouldn't  dream  of  doing  Top  of  the  Pops  appearing  on  the  show, none  more  so  than  David  Gilmour. At  the  time  I  thought  Pink  Floyd  were  faceless  untouchables  so  it  was  a  revelation  to  see  that  at  least  one  of  them  was  an  normal-looking  amiable  bloke.

The  show  wasn't  out  to  humiliate  anyone  so  the  individual  questions  did  normally  fall  within  the  artist's  own  genre  or  time  period. Nevertheless  some  of  those  appearing  did  get  horribly  exposed  such  as  ex-Selecter  frontwoman  Pauline  Black  or  Lynsey  De  Paul  who  clearly  hadn't  turned  the  radio  on  for  years  and  just  sat  there  gawping  helplessly  at  Read.

In  the  1984  season  Morrissey  turned  up  and  did  fine  alongside  his  incongruous  team-mates  ( see  above ). Interestingly,  they  were  up  against  the  bassists'  union  of  Nick  Beggs, Phil  Lynott  and  Derek  Forbes. That  season  ended  with  a  special  episode  pitching  arch-rivals  Spandau  Ballet  and  Duran  Duran  against  each  other. Smash  Hits  rather  pooped  the  party  by  inadvertently  printing  a  photo  showing  the  final  score - a  convincing  victory  for  the  Brummie  boys  - before  the  show  was  broadcast. After  that  the  programme  was  put  on  ice  but  not  before  Read  had  made  a  small  fortune  from  a  board  game  version.

Ten  years  later  it  was  revived  in  the  same  time  slot  and  with  much  the  same  format  but  the  world  had  changed.  Read  had   been  allowed  to  do  a  one -off  special  to  mark  the  30th  anniversary  of  Top  of  the  Pops  at  the  start  of  the  year  but  he  had   long  since  fallen  from  grace  and   become  a  bit  of  a  joke  so  the  new  host  was  former  Tiswas  presenter  and  top  London  DJ,  Chris  Tarrant. His  irreverent  approach  was  a  change  from  Read's  ingratiation  and  was  a  plus  but  the  format  ignored  the  fact  that  the  mass  audience  for  pop  of  the  early  eighties  had  splintered  into  numerous  sub-genres  with  militant  disinterest  in  each  other. The  contestants  were  being  asked  to  identify  snatches  of  lyric  from  hits  that  had  the  lifespan  of  a  cheap  firework..

For  example,  The  Wonder  Stuff's  Miles  Hunt  got  a  couple  of  lines  referencing  Sylvia  Plath  and  Harold  Pinter  from  Manic  Street  Preachers'  Faster  , a  ferociously  uncommercial  single    that  spent  a  single  week  in  the  Top  30  at  number  16. Totally  baffled,  he  said  "I've  no  idea  but  it  sounds  like  the  sort  of  drivel  Morrissey  would  come  out  with". When  Tarrant  told  him  it  was  the  Manics  he  retorted , "Well  I  said  it  was  drivel !"

The  other  episode  I  recall  from  the Tarrant  revival  was  the one  where  St  Etienne's  Sarah  Cracknell  appeared  in  a  very  revealing  pink  dress  ( unfortunately  I couldn't  find  a  still  for  that  one  )  and  team-mate  Tony  Hadley  addressed  all  his  answers  to  her  cleavage.

It  was  axed  again  after  one  season.

Read  finally  got  the  chance to  revive  it  in  2008  on  the little-known  Red  TV channel, best  known  for  ( if  anything )  repeats  of  Crown  Court .  He  was  doing  it  in  conjunction   with  a  guy  called  Jon  Kutner   who  works  on  the  Network  Chart. Jon's  also an  enthusiastic  pop  quizzer  and  I'd  got  to  know  him  over  the  years. There  was  no  budget  for  star  contestants  so  they  had  to  make  do  with  members  of  the  public  instead   and  Jon  asked  me  and  a  number  of  other  stalwarts  to  make  up  the  numbers.

So  I  drove  down  to  Birmingham  to  a  studio  in  an  industrial  estate  unit  that  was  little   bigger  than  a  lock-up  garage. We  milled  around  downstairs  for  a  while  at  the  end  of  an office  with  a  few  girls  working  onscreen. None  of  them  looked  up  when  Mike  Read  arrived but  he  stayed  in  good  spirits  saying  "It  may  only  be  Swindon  v  Mansfield  but  at  least  we're on  the  pitch".  Then  the  director  came  downstairs, a  fat  arrogant  Asian  guy  and  shouted "Right- who's  the  host ?"  Read  took  that  one  on  the  chin  as  well.

We  went  upstairs  and  I  met  my  team-mates  , a  brother  and  sister  duo  from  London  that  I'd never seen  before  in  my  life  ,but  for  the  purposes  of  the  programme , I  had  to pretend  I  was part  of  their  pub  quiz  team. We  were  up  against  a  general  knowledge  trio  who'd  recently
appeared  on  Eggheads   and  had  clearly  caught  the  TV  bug.  We  absolutely  caned  them  and it was  almost  pitiful  watching  them  deflate  as  they   gradually  realised  how  far  out  of  their depth  they'd  wandered. Afterwards  one  of  them  came  up  to  me  and  said  "You  know  far  too much !" The  only  blot  on  the experience  was  that  we  were  using  a  buzzer  system  that  Jon had  borrowed  from  my  friends  Ray  Marshall  and  Steve Burdin. I  was  very  familiar  with  it but  Mike  Read  wasn't  and  he  kept  forgetting  that  he  had  to  re-set  it  after  each  question. As I was  answering  most  of  the  questions  in  the  quickfire  round  at  the  end,  I  kept  pressing  my buzzer  and  not  getting  any  sound  so  I  started  saying  "beep  beep"  to  attract  his  attention  in the  expectation  it  would  be  overdubbed  with  a  buzzer  noise  in  the  editing  suite. That  was optimistic; it  went  out  exactly  as  it  happened  which  made  me  look  a  bit  of  a div.

The  show  didn't  catch  fire  and  Read  was  declared  bankrupt  not  too  long  after  that. He  got  another  go  at  it  in  2011  ( I  don't  know  if  Jon  Kutner  was  involved   or  not )  on  Vintage  TV  but  it  only  lasted  for  three  weeks.

1 comment:

  1. The fickle finger of fame, eh? I was once asked (along with the rest of the band I was in at the time) to take part in a dating show. Wisely, we turned it down (we all had girlfriends at the time, for one thing).

    I had the ZX Spectrum version of "Pop Quiz", I don't know if Reed got royalties. I hope not, as it was crap!

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